2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A conflict is always a clash of interests. It hurts, it is unpleasant, but what is an external conflict in comparison with the "torment of the soul." It is painful and unbearable, but on the other hand, making a choice is the exclusive privilege of a person. We all have internal conflicts that speak of a meeting within a person of two opposite and mutually exclusive tendencies seeking satisfaction. For example, we want to relax and have fun, but we urgently need to help a sick loved one, or we want to earn money for a car, and our internal attitude tells us that making money for ourselves is selfishness.
Often our inner needs and desires collide with the interests of the people around us. For example, we feel an inner duty and a call to defend the Motherland, and our family requires our protection and care. We can be torn between public expectations and our personal interests. And there are a lot of such collisions in our life. They bring a lot of anxiety and fear into our lives. Loss of inner supports and personal identity.
It is surprising that many people are not aware of their inner conflicts. They do not make conscious choices in their lives and go with the flow, make compromises, make not their own choices and live not their own lives. They tolerate the apathy and boredom of life.
Karen Horney identifies four abilities that lead to understanding and resolving their internal conflicts:
- The ability to be aware of our desires and feelings (i.e., do we really like this person, this work, is this business, or was it just suggested to us)
- The ability to develop one's own beliefs and values, because a large number of internal conflicts are associated with faith and moral values (especially in this matter, engaging in philosophy helps)
- Ability to give up one of the conflicting and conflicting beliefs
- And finally, the willingness and ability to take responsibility for your decision. It also includes the risk of making the wrong decision and a willingness to share the consequences without blaming others.
Conscious participation in our own internal conflicts, although it can bring suffering, in fact fills our life with greater completeness, integrity, satisfaction and happiness.
A healthy person is able to meet and resolve his internal conflicts, which gives him strength and stability in life. The conflicts of the neurotic are a different matter. It is much more difficult to resolve neurotic conflicts without a specialist. But we will talk about what a neurotic conflict is in the next article.
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