NETWORKING FOR INTROVERTS

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When I was still working at Sony, I had an amazing boss. Originally from Ghana, a graduate of the Sorbonne, stunning like Naomi Campbell, elegant like a panther, the smartest, calm, wise. She taught me a lot.

At some point I was promoted to the internal corporate program "future stars" for women in the leadership. Annual program with a dedicated mentor, seminars, the possibility of corporate promotion. I remember sitting at one of the seminars she taught and it was about networking. And she talked about how important it is, "to win friends and make connections," and I remember how I raised my hand and asked "what to do for those who hate these idle conversations about anything with strangers with a glass in their hands." And she said, "Just learn."

But at that time, I remained a dissatisfied skeptical introvert. But hunting is stronger than bondage, and at some point I really needed it, and I went and just learned.

Now I have a farm for growing contacts inside my head, a communication plan, ease of acquaintances and corporate parties and conferences have ceased to be a painful test, but have become a planned hunt for the right people.

In general, when I write all this, it seems to me that this is such a natural banality, but I remember how many sweaty palms and lumps in my throat gave me all this, how I remembered painfully questions and got together in spirit that, I think, is worth writing. So: C

1) You take a glass of wine, hide your phone, because it's tempting. You look around the audience in its Brownian motion. You highlight the one who stands alone with your gaze. You go up to him, stretch out your hand and say:

- Hi, I'm Olga.

The one who stands alone, most likely in the same boat with you, in a boat of dreary embarrassment. It will bloom with gratitude. He will reach out and introduce himself.

2) In order not to be an idiot with the weather (although in England you are never an idiot with the weather), the following questions are given:

- Where are you from?

- Is this your first time here?

- How do you like the event?

On a business trip it is always easy to ask "when did you arrive?", "When are you going back?" I remember how amazed I was, why the hell is it so important for all these people to know when I arrived and when I leave. It turned out to be a code.

3) At first, you are so happy about the victory that you want the whole world to celebrate with you: "Wow! I’m standing here and talking freely! World, pay attention, I’m like everyone else, I’m no longer at the wall, if not a village dance, I’m among these easily communicating! ". But it is very important not to stop and not get stuck in the conversation for an hour, then painfully looking for an excuse to get out of it, but work out the plan. Namely, to understand if there is anything useful in this contact. Therefore, immediately

4) "What do you do?" And then ask and along the way to understand if there is interest. If there is, then dig. If not, it's polite to blame. In general, to have a dozen questions in your stash, "and who invited you?" "," and who you liked the most "," and whom do you recommend to listen to. " And then you stop being afraid of pauses.

5) If there is interest, score a continuation. How interesting, this is so important to me in the light of my business. Do you have a business card? (Are you on Linkedin?)? I will contact you if you do not mind (no one will mind!).

6) If there is no interest, the simplest way out of any conversation at any stage is:

"Well, it was very nice to meet you! Good luck!" shake hands and get out.

7) If you find yourself tacitly twisting the third head in a conversation between two, and do not know how to politely get out of there, and artificially smile, expecting a pause, then there is no need to wait. You need to grab the attention of one by touching the shoulder, and when he comes off and looks at you, say "I have to go, I was glad to meet you", "I'll leave you, it was very nice, you can have your business card."

One of the biggest blocks is the feeling that there are "they" and they will think about you that you are such a fool imposing on them. In fact, these situations are uncomfortable for many. And inside they are grateful that you took this first step. And it is precisely this feeling that it was you who became the alpha, and "saved" your interlocutor, which gives a feeling of confidence and strength.

It will be scary at first. Then it will be victorious.

And they don't bite.

UPD: Sandra Kozintseva added a very important point: how to force yourself to go there first, and not find a hundred reasons why not. Argument for yourself 1: Everything, literally all business connections require that you are not a person on the street. A mind-boggling amount of opportunity and dating comes from casual relationships. Statistically amazing. Self-argument 2: You will be known as a "connected person." This is a very important reputation. Argument for myself 3: "but I do not like to impose." You don't push yourself. Go with the spirit of giving. Listen and give, present, help, share. Listen and give something. This is a noble and grateful positioning. People are surprised by the disinterested "oh, I know a person in this area. I can introduce you." Don't get hung up on just one important and main dude that you need, but give it to the little guys that you don't really need. And then 6 handshakes will work. There is no escape from them.