2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Each phase of a child's development, according to A. Freud, is the result of resolving the conflict between internal instinctive drives and the restrictive requirements of the external social environment. Normal child development occurs in leaps and bounds, not gradually step by step, but back and forth again, with progressive and regressive processes in their constant alternation. In their development, children take two steps forward and one backward. It is viewed as a process of gradual socialization of the child, subject to the law of transition from pleasure to reality. If the search for the first is an internal principle of the child, then the satisfaction of desires depends on the external world, and in childhood - largely on the mother. Therefore, the mother acts as the first legislator for her children, and her mood, her addictions and antipathies noticeably affect their development. “The fastest developing is what the mother likes and welcomes the most” (A. Freud).
The child remains immature as long as his desires dominate him, and the decision to satisfy them or refuse them belongs to the outside world, parents and other people. The desire to satisfy his desires at any cost, based on the principle of pleasure, can determine his asocial behavior, Only when the child is able to act according to the principle of reality, take into account the requirements of the social environment, analyze and control his intentions and independently decide whether this or that urge needs to be rejected or turned into action, its transition to an adult state is possible, But it should be borne in mind that advancement to the principle of reality in itself does not guarantee that a person will follow social requirements, Thus, almost all the normal elements of a child's life, such as greed, jealousy, self-interest, push the child in the direction of antisociality, the opposite (reactionary formations), are directed to other purposes (sublimation), redirected to other people (projection). So difficult and painful is the socialization of the child, his inclusion in the life of society.
Recommended:
A Terrible Beast Of "indifference": How To Live With Him And Do We Need Him ?
Do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill or betray, but only with their tacit consent does treason and murder exist on earth (Eberhard) .
Codependency: “I Do Everything To Make Him Feel Good, I Can’t Deny Him Anything”
A fragment from my book "What do we confuse love with, or is it Love". In itself, the desire to do something pleasant for a loved one is wonderful. If a number of conditions are met: For a loved one, this is really good. That is, it does not come from the position “I know what is best for him,” but there really is reason to believe that it is good for him now.
Codependency: "I Forgive Him Everything, I Completely Accept Him"
Forgiving is essential in a relationship. Forgiveness is normal if a number of conditions are met: The act is not one that cannot be forgiven. For example, deliberate harm to life or health (beatings as a special case) cannot be forgiven.
Child's Hobby: Choosing Between Your Own And Parental Desires
In addition, if your child attends circles, then he becomes more independent and self-confident, sociable, broadens his horizons and increases intelligence. Only now children do not always understand what interests they have and what hobby they would like to choose.
It Makes No Sense To Listen To A Child, His Desires Change Every Day
I spoke with a mother today. She reasoned what could be better for the child, and wondered whether it was worth transferring her son from one circle to another, asked for advice. I suggested asking what the child himself wants. Mom replied that it was pointless, he is small, desires change every day, so you cannot be guided by them - an adult must make decisions for the baby.