2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How often do you feel stressed or anxious and compare yourself to others?
How often do you scold and criticize yourself for not being “good enough”?
Continuous streams of information around us constantly broadcast different lifestyles, happy families, ideal figures, the success of different people and much more, which leads to the fact that you feel like a complete failure.
You are stuck in an endless stream of information about happy families, ideal partners, ideal figures, the success of different people. You feel like a complete failure.
You are not beautiful enough … you are not successful enough … you are not smart enough … you are not loved enough … you are not happy enough …
Each of us has an inner "engine" that pushes us to be smarter, more successful, happier, more beautiful, more talented, better and better. And especially, all these desires and aspirations become obvious and desirable when we compare ourselves with others or with our ideal images of how it should be. And it is very difficult to stop yourself in this process, isn't it?
Comparison is an integral part of our life and, in general, an important component in human evolution and development. Comparison can be constructive and destructive. If, as a result of comparison, you have inspiration, motivation, desire to act, then we are talking about a constructive comparison. When comparison leads to frustration, emotional distress, and stress, it is a destructive comparison.
And, the good news is that you can control this process.
Comparison that destroys. It is the kind of comparison that robs you of your motivational energy and leaves you completely overwhelmed, devastated, and hopeless.
- Comparing your “reality” with the “seeming reality” of others. What you see on the Internet and on TV is not a real picture of the life of different people. These are most likely carefully selected snippets of their lives from real reality. Basically, on social media and on TV, you can only see the good side of the diverse lives of the people you compare yourself to. “Do not compare yourself and your life behind the scenes with a carefully prepared stage performance and image of other people. What you see is just the tip of the iceberg. " Sepi Tajima
- Comparing your "start" with the "middle or finish" of other people. For example, if you are a beginner athlete and compare yourself and your achievements with the success of professional athletes who have been in sports for a long time, this is a destructive comparison.
- Comparisons of yourself in areas that are actually not so important in your life. If you don't need a romantic relationship at this stage of your life, why then compare yourself with happy married couples ?! And vice versa, if family and relationships are important to you, why then compare yourself with single friends who come off to the fullest ?! You have different priorities. If you don't want to start your own business, why compare yourself with your business friends ?! Be more attentive to what and with whom you compare yourself. What seems valuable to us now is not always our true values. Often, these are just imposed values from the outside world through TV, the Internet, magazines, social life, friends. Determine what is really valuable to you now in your life.
- Comparisons in areas where you cannot change something.
Here we are talking about skin blooms, nationality, place where you were born, family in which you were born, nationality and origin of your parents, etc.
Comparison that inspires.
- Comparing yourself to yourself in the past. Appreciate and notice your every merit, success, victory. Celebrate and cherish every achievement and positive change in yourself. Life is not always easy and simple. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “Stop thinking that someone is better than you. Be better than yourself yesterday in every new day."
- People who represent who you want to become in the future are the best examples for motivation and inspiration. Communicate with such people, be near them. Charge yourself, study, develop the same habits, skills, abilities.
- From time to time, we all forget that we use a lot of goods just like that. Much is a given for us. It is often helpful to compare yourself to those who are doing much worse than ours. There are thousands of people who only dream of being or having what we have. Such comparisons help to better understand the value of what is already there, and also develop a sense of appreciation and gratitude.
- Comparisons in those areas where everything depends on you.
What skills do you need to acquire and develop in order to get or be able to do this or that?
What new habit will help you solve this problem or problem?
Patience! Step by step, gradually you will get what you want and what you strive for.
Understanding comparison processes can make a big difference in your life. Create your life consciously! Choose and be aware of every moment.
Practices that will be helpful: mindfulness (mindfulness) and meditation.
Who or what do you compare yourself with?
How often do you compare yourself?
What results (inspiring or devastating) do your comparisons lead to?
How can you stop or cut back on communication with people with whom communication lowers your self-esteem?
What can you do to create a new and inspiring environment?
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