Fear And Love Of The Schizoid Personality

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Fear is an integral part of our life. Our whole life is saturated with attempts to resist fear, or, to free ourselves from fear. He stimulates and directs someone into the channel of creativity and self-improvement, and drives someone into the strong embrace of addictions. Our fear exists regardless of our cultural affiliation or our level of development and leads us ultimately to the fear of living and the fear of dying. In essence, fear is an inevitable companion of life, there is no other way.

What is the expression of fear in schizoid personalities and what characteristic features do individuals endowed with schizoid accentuations have?

A characteristic feature of schizoid individuals is their fear of self-giving and their stay under impulses aimed at strengthening their independence. From a psychological point of view, the life of these people is associated with an increased desire for self-preservation, and this is expressed in the desire to maintain their independence and to obtain self-satisfaction. In the case of a schizoid personality, the fear of losing independence leads to the fear of developing interpersonal ties, the fear of intimate relationships. In reality, the schizoid wants to evade real life, he does not succeed, and he is looking for new and new protective forms of behavior that help him to isolate himself from life. For a more general understanding of the essence of the schizoid personality, the phrase is well suited: "You can be familiar with them for a long time, but you really don't know them."

In life, the schizoid falls into the so-called social funnel, which unwinds as he, due to his distance from people, knows less and less about the people around him, and this increasingly widens the gap in the experience of communication and increases the lack of confidence in interpersonal contacts. Ultimately, his impressions and ideas about others are more a projection of his imagination than reality.

Schizoids are distinguished by their special attitude towards love, which is due to their relationship with their mother in the first years of their life. How is their peculiarity expressed in love, and how is this connected with fear?

Due to the fact that each intimacy provokes fear in them, they are forced to significantly reduce close contacts or abandon them. This leads to the fact that they view love and love relationships as a threat to their independence and a loss of their own worth. The schizoid's dilemma is that the need to love and be loved is inherent to him like any other person, but his inability to build these very love relationships and stay in closeness pushes him to solve this dilemma in the form of dividing love and sex into two independent parts. What happens? It turns out the desire to possess, to have sex, while not being tied to a love environment. The partner in this case acts only as a sexual object, and in all other respects he is not interesting for the schizoid, therefore, any relationship associated with trust and intimacy is not peculiar to them. From their point of view, the love of a partner with them is explained only in the last place by their spiritual qualities, and first of all - by their behavior and appearance. This fear of closeness and love leaves schizoids extremely rarely and easily explains their unpredictable and strange reactions to human closeness.

The schizoid's tactics in relationships are based on short-term stormy and changeable relationships that do not reach marriage, which a priori cannot lead to anything good.

Where does this fear come from, which so modifies the life of schizoid accentuated individuals, and in fact, why do they become that way?

The onset of schizoid fear is determined in the postpartum period lasting up to several years of a person's life. During this period, as a rule, due to the emotional coldness of the parents (mother), or due to its absence, these people develop an indestructible feeling of insecurity and instability of the environment in which they grow up. The inability to be safe and the inability to meet their needs for maternal warmth, care and attention generate discontent and fear, while at the same time causing aggression and hatred. It is dissatisfaction (lack of care and love) that is the forerunner of fear. The lack of a sense of security and lack of warmth and attention from the mother makes people schizoid accentuated. Here you can draw a purely schizoid conclusion: "how can I give love to another, if I have not received it myself."

The feeling of anxiety for their safety does not leave them throughout their lives. They constantly feel defenseless and in danger. Whether the threat actually exists or not, they experience their existence as a threat.

In their opinion, love is also a threat, and it causes fear.

The aggression emanating from the schizoid in response to an attempt to fall in love with him is quite interesting in that it has no direction in its essence, it is impulsive, it is deep in its essence, and is not directed anywhere specifically, it is considered by the schizoids themselves only as a form of response to danger, and they have nothing to answer the claims of those around them, tk. they have nothing to do with them. Aggression very often manifested by schizoids is a kind of their calling card when meeting, hiding their insecurity.

So, summing up the consideration of fear and love of the schizid personality, we can note the origins of the origin of fear. The source of fear is what he did not receive at birth, it is the mother's love and the sense of security in this life. Further, the constant tension from insecurity and dissatisfaction in motherly acceptance and love generates a deep fear that accompanies them throughout their lives. The fear of being abandoned makes it impossible to build love relationships and makes them constantly struggle for their autonomy. He is constantly playing ahead of the curve in the love game. They do not admit to being dumped first, they do not even enter into a relationship.