2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I think many have heard this expression. An incomplete gestalt means the completion of any need. It can end in two ways: the experience of satisfaction or the experience of frustration when it is impossible to satisfy it.
For example, you are in the desert and you crave ice cream. The end of the need "I want ice cream" will be the experience of sadness from the inability to eat it.
If a person does not experience frustration, he loses contact with reality and pretends, for example, that he is not in the desert, or that he has already eaten ice cream. If you do this for a long, long time, every day for many years, then a person really begins to live in the virtual world.
Losing contact with our real feelings, needs and the surrounding environment, we find ourselves maladjusted to the present, and then we cannot interact with it. This is best seen when it happens in a relationship. That is, for example, a man wants his woman to do everything the same way as his mother, he has such a need. Refusing to experience the frustration that he has already grown up and no other woman other than his mother will treat him like a child, firstly, she refuses the rights of an adult, and secondly, from inter-sex relations (when the relationship between a man and a woman is built according to the incestuous type, after a while sex disappears from the relationship, or turns into a burdensome duty), thirdly, he remains dissatisfied all the time, because the "non-mom" will not want to nurse him, but rather will reproach him and thereby undermine his self-esteem. The end of the gestalt in such a situation will be the experience of losing a carefree childhood. "Where does childhood go? To what cities? And where can we find the means to get there again?" This is definitely a sad story for those whose childhood was glorious. There is one more, third situation with an incomplete gestalt, when the idea of the self-worth of a person's personality is violated, for example, if a person experiences humiliation from another person, disrespectful treatment. In jurisprudence, this situation is called "causing damage" and presupposes compensation, that is, compensation for losses. In a relationship, such compensation for damages is a sincere apology and admission on the part of the "causing the damage" of his mistake with its specific description.
Just throwing a "well sorry" is not that kind of compensation and does not bring relief. But since sincere repentance is a very rare thing among people, almost everyone carries an unhealed wound from disrespectful treatment.
In this case, psychological exercises in therapy, which we call "gestalt completion", help.
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