2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
As a child, my friend's mother frightened her by the fact that all the toys scattered around the room would chase her until she neatly put them in place.
We were scared together, cleaned, and, just in case, looked around on the street to see if a lost bear cub or a disheveled doll was running behind.
Unfinished gestalts remind me of this situation from childhood … they follow their "master" with an invisible shadow, cling to their feet with cold hands and are the reason that his life is bad and uncomfortable.
Gestalt is translated from German as background, figure, view. It can be any process or action - a date, quarrel, business, parting, hobby, etc. When the gestalt (process) ends, a person almost immediately forgets about it. An incomplete gestalt (as a situation in which it was not possible to put an end) is remembered better, creates a certain tension in the memory and is the main source that feeds neurosis. It is created when a person wants something (or someone) in life very much, but for some reason cannot receive; when he ends a relationship with someone without realizing what happened; when he does not finish the action or work, etc.
An incomplete gestalt creates a hotbed of chronic displeasure and anxiety inside a person and prevents him from moving forward in life confidently and freely. It causes an obsessive desire to return to the situation and play it over and over again … the person begins to repeat the previous patterns of behavior in already changed conditions - for example, provokes conflicts with a new partner that were not resolved in previous relationships. At the same time, the partner absolutely cannot understand what is happening - after all, everything was fine a minute ago. And here a couple of absolutely harmless phrases turns a wonderful evening into a terrible quarrel with a demonstrative leaving home.
And all because a person wants to complete the unfinished, to express the unspoken, to receive what was not received … in order to feel integrity and calmness. It was not so … After all, it was necessary to complete and express it with another person - where the gestalt was discovered. But often it is impossible to do this (the person has died, moved or simply does not want to communicate), and then you can help yourself by “letting off steam” (telling someone specifically about this person and the situation in which he is stuck); fantasizing about how things could end differently; analyzing the scenario of previous relationships (work on mistakes); trying to remember good things about a person; realizing exactly what you wanted then and how you can get it now, etc.
The peculiarity of an unfinished gestalt is that it will never be completed if a person is too emotionally involved in this process. When you wait for the completion of the gestalt and with all the fibers of your soul strive for this to happen … a miracle does not happen. You need to finish the gestalt imposingly, with a note of indifference - as if shuffling home slippers on the way to the kitchen for a sip of water. Gestalt, filled to the brim with human energy, enslaves him no worse than the ring of omnipotence. And in order to complete it, the help of another person (psychologist, psychotherapist, gestalt therapist, etc.) or time is often needed, which can make the unfinished gestalt more accessible for awareness.
Sometimes it’s worth starting by completing the simplest gestalt that doesn’t require much effort: disassemble the trash in the closet, tie on a sweater, finish reading a book, finally meet a friend, fulfill a small dream (for example, go to learn to dance tango, jump with a parachute, buy yourself palm tree).
Make a list of your unfinished gestalts and carefully close them one by one, until the heavy chains that bind to the past burst … and the little icy hands come off their feet, making way for a new life.
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Unfinished
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Unfinished Gestalt
I think many have heard this expression. An incomplete gestalt means the completion of any need. It can end in two ways: the experience of satisfaction or the experience of frustration when it is impossible to satisfy it . For example, you are in the desert and you crave ice cream.
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Finally, I really want to get a feeling of connection with another, acceptance and love, which were so lacking in childhood. And it seems completely real and necessary. And this is natural. We all really need to be loved, accepted as is, allowed to express ourselves and be happy with us just like that, of course.
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