2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
An interesting story happened recently in my practice. The girl, after the first psychotherapy session for two weeks, was going to come for a consultation, but postponed the meeting, finding permanent reasons. At the first session with her, I realized that her visit was the first and last (my intuition does not let me down), so I tried to convey a very important thesis in an hour and a half, which, in my opinion, was supposed to radically change her life.
The essence of the conversation concerned the troubles that were snowballing with more and more force. She was in a torn and confused state, it was sincerely a pity to look at her powerlessness in the face of circumstances. Without going into details, I will describe only one detail on which I did my best to focus her attention. The girl was always guided by the opinion of others, not only did she collect the opinion of five people, listened to them, analyzed and only after that made a decision. The process was energy-consuming, took a lot of time and devastated her (no wonder, to experience the same thing five times), and, in the end, simply distracted her from life in the current moment, forcing her to constantly boil in this soup of other people's opinions and doubts. I clearly saw the reasons for what was happening to her: unwillingness to take responsibility for my life, inability to meet with myself, and, as a result, misunderstanding of my true desires. Only during the consultation, neither my hints on this topic, nor leading questions brought the desired result. You know, it happens - people unconsciously block the perception of the most important information, they just don't hear it!
However, I was not upset, because I knew that sooner or later the seed thrown by me would sprout and the girl would make friends with herself. That is why I watched her for several weeks, sometimes tossing a couple of phrases in the vibe. And now, three weeks later, she began to dramatically change her life: she let go of a difficult situation related to relationships (they could not be saved, but at the consultation, the girl stubbornly looked for opportunities to fight and craved a battle). She also changed her hairstyle to a shorter one and signed up for a sports club. I was glad that she refused to war with her family and that she clearly declared with the phrase in the vibe: “now I have it and this is the most important thing” (this is what I was trying to convey to her).
Everything would be fine, however, later I found out that the girl signed up for boxing and self-defense, which meant that she sublimated the failed battle into power and aggressive sports. Anger requires realization, and the girl chose the most humane and environmentally friendly way. The hobby took possession of her so much that she spent hours on end in the gym and even hung a punching bag at home. To my question: "For what?" - she replied that she wants to increase "self-confidence" (perhaps she meant self-esteem, I can not know for sure).
When therapy (in this case, I mean positive psychotherapy, of which I am a consultant) begins to act, then hidden reserves are activated, self-healing mechanisms are activated and the usual view of things changes. What is the danger of interrupted treatment? The patient independently and superficially probes his self, but does not understand what to do with it due to the lack of that very confidence and strength that he begins to look for in the external world, and not within himself. Now, in free flight with ups and downs, a new relationship with the world will be built by trial and error. The path is difficult, painstaking, but interesting, I admit it. Efficiency and efficiency depend on the level of psychological literacy, which, of course, is easier and faster to master when paired with a psychotherapist, but everyone is free to do as they see fit. Whether such a more complex path is karmically conditioned or chosen for some other reason is not important, the main thing is that a person evolves and grows.
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