Why Give Birth To Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why give birth to children

We will not talk about evolutionary or biological factors now. Let's talk about the psychological attitudes that drive people who make decisions about having a child in various situations. And since for his birth in our population it is given to bear responsibility exclusively for a woman, we will analyze her motivation.

From century to century, society transfers social attitudes that motivate the continuation of the human race. And practically every family has its own traumatic circumstances, which also tend to pass from generation to generation - from parents to children. No matter how much young parents say that their children will not be brought up the way they were brought up, this does not save them from the same mistakes, in addition to which they are inclined to make their own. For what reasons does childhood become such a traumatic period from which a person brings problems into his later life?

What lies behind the desire to give birth

A common reason why a woman decides to become a mother is the pressure of society, especially the immediate environment. It makes you feel like a not quite a full-fledged woman if you do not have children. Under the pressure of this pressure, a woman feels she is simply obliged to have them, the question of desire is already becoming secondary.

The second reason, which logically follows from the above, is the manifestation of a certain herd feeling. Already all the friends around have known the joy of motherhood, it's time, it's time. There is even a certain competitive moment, pushing to do it faster.

The third reason is the desire to grow up as soon as possible and plunge into independence, living without parents. If the expectant mother is still too young, this entails the opposite consequences - she suddenly finds herself in an even deeper dependence on the environment and parents.

Reason number four is the desire to keep the groom. Contrary to the undeniable claims that a man cannot be tied to oneself as a child, some women are persistent in their attempts. Pregnancy in this case is used as a means to manipulate the chosen man.

The fifth reason, no matter how trite, is the fear of loneliness. A woman thinks that her own child will always be with her, will not leave or betray, like men from whom one cannot expect good. An insecure, not too happy woman needs a child in order to love, understand and stay close.

A little aside is a seemingly healthy situation - two met, decided to start a family out of mutual love, live in harmony and, finally, understand that the time has come to become happy parents.

And everything would be just fine, if not for a certain "but". All these reasons are based on attitudes to meet their own needs and requirements. If you analyze them, it turns out that future parents are driven by desire:

• for someone to love and be near;
• self-realization (they are trying to "blind" the likeness of themselves from the child);
• get satisfaction from the new status of a parent in society;
• have a secure old age;
• to control someone, subjugating to themselves;
• to continue oneself (as it is customary to say - to extend one's kind, leaving a part of oneself on the Earth).

These are not the saddest reasons, there are also much less harmless ones. Perhaps it is precisely because the decision is dictated from the outside that depressive states often occur during pregnancy and childbirth. And all this needs to be compensated for.

Compensation

And this is compensated for when a child appears by the fact that he becomes the personal property of the parent. From birth, a child is deprived of recognition of an autonomously existing personality in him, which makes independent decisions. Perceived by the parents as a part of themselves, it is at their complete disposal. They give themselves the exclusive right (out of good intentions, of course) to invest their thoughts, goals and desires into it.

Driven by such attitudes, parents begin the upbringing process. Both the child's survival and adaptation to environmental conditions, which is due to nature, directly depend on them. And only a human being wants to subjugate his child, breaking the will and imposing his desires on him as early as possible, even at a tender age. For this purpose, various sorts of tricks and manipulations of the consciousness of a small person, depending on the parent, are used. Techniques are used that cause a constant feeling of guilt in the child. Parents by any means try to shift the responsibility for their happiness onto the fragile, fragile shoulders of their children, and this is an unbearable burden for them.

Childhood injuries are present in any person. This is easily explained by the fact that only too few parents understand what they are doing and how they harm the child's psyche, which has irreparable consequences for him. Such injuries, as a rule, are transmitted from parents to children, and further down the chain. It is they who do not give the grown-up child the opportunity to feel their own, real needs and desires, getting rid of imposed fears and complexes.

True motives

The real reason for the desire to give birth to their children is the need to sincerely and unselfishly care for someone. And not at all because it is necessary that this someone reciprocated. Not because you are afraid of lonely old age. Not in order to reshape it at your own discretion, creating a perfect person according to your standards. And only because you absolutely need to give all the care, attention and love to this little man. Because you sincerely, without demanding anything in return, want to teach him what you can do yourself. This desire is embedded deep within nature itself.

With these needs in mind, you are ready to have a baby. You have the right motivation. Unlike the attitudes mentioned earlier, your desire to have a child is not dictated by selfish considerations. You understand that sharing experiences and information with your child is a process that will mutually enrich you. You are ready to give your knowledge and skills without demanding compensation from the child, just because he needs to take this experience from somewhere. It is very clear to you that the more skills and knowledge you can enrich it, the better it will adapt to life. This means that he will be able to use more opportunities, he will become more successful and happier.

How much life could change if it came to the realization that the child is not the property of the parents, but a separate person. He has his own life path. He must grow up and go his own way, and the task of the parents is to help him adapt to the existing realities, prepare him as much as possible for life in this world. How fully a child can realize the abilities inherent in him by nature, whether he can become happy - it all depends on the parents. He must learn to live on his own in order to easily go into free swimming. And his future well-being directly depends on how much his parents will respect a full-fledged personality in him.