I WANT TO LEAVE MARRIAGE - Instructions For Getting Out And Getting In

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How many articles and books have been written on this topic, but still the topic of marriage does not lose its relevance. Many cannot meet their soul mate and suffer for years, losing hope and self-esteem.

I also decided to share my thoughts and recommendations in this regard. Moreover, once I myself repeated these words, like a magic mantra: "I WANT TO GET MARRIED."

So, it would seem that everything is clear. But, as my consulting practice shows, it is advisable to analyze each word separately.

WANT - a first person verb. It means that it is not someone who wants it - it was not my mother who said, it is not the girlfriends who advise, it is not the relatives who make fun of, but I WANT. I want means I have an intention or a desire. And this is MY desire.

The next word is Exit. To leave is to be somewhere and to leave one place, going to another. Where do they get married? Mostly from my father's house. Therefore, you need to understand that when you get married, even while remaining under the same roof with your parents, you symbolically leave them for your husband. And this action is finished - to go out - it is not between, not here and there. Exit - to leave something and enter another state. From the role of "daughter" to enter the state of "wife".

And finally - get married. Here everything is completely clear, it would seem - to marry - a husband. That is, the husband is in front, and I am behind him. Where he is, there I am. And in sorrow and in joy. Wanting to get married, one must understand that someone else must appear in life with his own desires and hopes, ideas and goals. And the opinion of the other will have to be taken into account and respected, be able to negotiate, give in and insist on your own.

That is, it turns out that to get married - there is a desire to leave the father's house, to unite with her husband and become behind him - to become married.

Very often this desire "I want to get married" for many years remains just a desire.

My recommendation: in order to get married as soon as possible, it is necessary to reformulate this cherished phrase into “I AM GIVING MARRIED”. Sounds different, don't you agree?

I'M GETTING MARRIED - the whole phrase implies taking an action. Self-reliant. It is not he who will come and marry, but the proud: "I am getting married." I just see how you got up from your chair, sofa, office chair and went, went, went. Nice to look at. The road will be mastered by the walking one. So the impression is that the first step has already been taken. And if the first is done, then the leg has already risen to do the second. The process has started. Getting started.

So, what does it take to start a family?

1. Correctly formulate the goal.

2. Determine the image of the desired partner.

3. Objectively assess your capabilities.

4. Action is the most important point of the plan.

Therefore, I offer several exercises to clarify these points.

Exercise Incomplete sentences

It is necessary to complete the started sentences.

I want to get married for that….

For me, getting married is …

When I get married, then …

The man who will become my husband …

There may be answers like - I want to get married in order to take revenge on my ex-boyfriend, to leave my parents, in order to find myself someone who will take care of me, because my mother says that then no one will take or all normal men will be dismantled..

After reading what has been written, you can see why you want to get married - whether it is your goal, whether it is a desired goal and what it will entail.

Look at what you have written, family relationships are relationships between a man and a woman that include:

1. Household issues;

2. Sexual sphere;

3. Leisure issues;

4. Personal development;

5. Communication with your parents and your husband (regardless of the type of residence - together with them or separately);

6. Communication with friends - his own and his;

7. Areas of your professional activity.

How many areas in the above sentences have you mentioned and touched upon. And what areas of family life have you missed. Think about them, add sentences.

Many people live in the expectation that someone will one day call them, get to know them, love them and make them happy. Boys and girls are equally mistaken. Yes, there are chance meetings when everything seems to happen by itself, you can listen to fairy tales, believe in them and wait 40 years for a prince on a white horse.

I believe and live by the principle: "Do what you must and will, as it will be." If you want to get married, create your own happiness with your own hands. Metaphorically - "place nets on the fish that you need." And who the Lord will send you, and for what, this is already the topic of another article. That is, do what depends on you, do not wait for the weather by the sea - look for a person with whom you are interested, to whom you are drawn, hint at going to the theater, offer tickets to a concert, etc. We ourselves build our happiness - conventions, the fact that a woman should not be the first to call for a date.

Now the next exercise is Marriage Announcement

The task is to compose the text of the marriage announcement, in which you need, first of all, to indicate your main advantages. You shouldn't pay too much attention to your physical data. Are you young and beautiful? Wonderful! Tall and athletic? It's just wonderful!

And what about your character, habits, peculiarities of communication with people and attitudes towards them? What are your favorite activities? How can you interest the other person?

Do not forget to describe your ideal in a few words. How do you imagine it? Its description will take no more than 1/3 of the ad.

To hell with decency, this announcement is yours and for you. If your most important dignity is sexual energy, desire for sex from morning till night, write, the ability to cook rolls with your left hand, while dancing samba - write. Maybe you have read all of Shakespeare in the original, know 5 languages, plan to travel the whole world in the next 2 years, conquer Everest, write. You know how to avoid conflicts, an excellent hostess, a champion in rhythmic gymnastics - write.

Get to know yourself first. Clients come to me who do not know themselves, what they want, what they can offer, for themselves their Desires are sealed with seven seals, and they think that when they get married, their Husband will give them knowledge about themselves. But this only creates tension in the young family. Understand right away - what you are and what you want.

Exercise What do you expect from your partner and what do you offer him

The next stage of work will be the realization that, in addition to the fact that you will receive something from your partner, you will be giving. It is very important to understand that no apple will fall on our heads until we ourselves shake the apple tree. You want to dance every day, what do you offer in return - a wonderful dinner after dancing, you want your husband to make millions, what you offer him for this - your beautiful appearance and a cozy home. The relationship between a man and a woman is a relationship, communication, interaction. There is no one-sided game, you are for him, he is for you. Therefore, write in columns:

What do you expect from a partner What can you offer him

My grandmother used to tell me many years ago: "Don't get married if you don't get married." I completely agree with her, and I believe that much in this process depends on ourselves.

Go for it, and if you have any additional questions, come to individual consultations.

Psychologist Svetlana Ripka