2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today I want to say cruel things, but sometimes it's important to be honest with yourself. A huge number of "strong" marriages are doomed to collapse. The reasons for this situation are simple. Now I will tell you about the main secrets of an unbreakable marriage.
Girl-product or "locker" and "bedside table" in marriage
There are girls who treat themselves like a commodity. No, of course, she would never say that about herself. But this can be seen from certain signs. She "invests" in herself: makes her ass like a nut, wasp waist, breasts of size N, lips and tattoos …. The clothes are only branded, in the hands of the iPhone of the latest model. How can we do without it? What if the other girl's tactical and technical characteristics turn out to be steeper? Therefore, we need "full stuffing"!
Gone are the days when girls went out to hunt a male. Now she carries herself as a gift from the universe. He exposes all his attributes for all to see in the hope of selling himself at a higher price.
She meets her Prince. He goes through large bills in the wallet (earned, parental or credit - it doesn't matter). He has enough money to afford the best in the marriage market. For her, this is a sure sign: here it is a Locker, in which there is a cherished drawer with money.
Luxurious wedding for the envy of all girlfriends and spiteful critics. Expensive gifts, travel.
What an alpha male and a princess needs to get out of marriage. The love boat crashed into everyday life
But life does not end at the moment of marriage. Life begins. The alpha male, in addition to crazy sex, needs a hot breakfast and dinner, cleanliness in the house and ironed shirts. And it turns out that the husband wants homemade food and does not want to pay for the housekeeper (he also hoped that the Bedside table had these options built in). And the beautiful princess who became the queen yesterday has a manicure! And she has no time to do housework, she has a gym, a nutritionist and a beauty salon on schedule. And the money for her lifestyle should now be given by her husband!
Everything does not always end as quickly as it began. Sometimes years pass, children appear. But in this relationship there will never be either love or respect. Because both understand that their marriage is just a deal, a sales contract. He does not respect her, since he bought it as an attribute of success, of his own success. She, of course, does not consider herself a “woman with low social responsibility,” but she understands that she lives here while meeting the needs of her husband and his entourage.
It doesn't matter whether the spouse Etazerochka appears in the life of a spouse, or the Bedside table just gets bored, one day the Locker will change the "furniture" of its life, buy itself a novelty ….
Falling in love with an image, or a vacuum cleaner who did not want to wash the dishes
Life sets tasks for each individual. Responsibility, planning and hard work are usually great at helping an adult to easily solve even complex problems. But a huge number of people in the modern world are not just unable to solve the slightest problem, they surprisingly easily create unsolvable problems for themselves. And then relationships come to the rescue!
The girl hopes to meet a real man who will solve all her problems. The guy is looking for a lover who is ready for fire and water for the sake of a loved one, to help, support and solve his problems. How else?
And so they meet…. Neither he nor she really understands, because the most important thing is Love! They attribute valuable personality traits to each other and fall in love with the image. She is just sure that he is strong, responsible, decisive, generous, etc. by the list. He believes that she is gentle, caring, meek and not demanding, a good housewife, wife, fighting friend…. Their ideas about each other are as beautiful as they are illusory, but the wedding has already taken place.
Why spouses devalue each other
The paint on the idol is peeling off. Life makes its own adjustments. It turns out that the expected functionality is missing! She dreamed of being generous, and he counts every penny. He's saving up for an apartment, you see! He expected affectionate, and she was unhappy all the time. Either money is not enough for her, then attention, then sex….
Spouses devalue each other. Because they treat each other as a tool, as a way to solve problems, life tasks. And personality as a tool turns out to be unsuitable. You know, it’s like you bought a vacuum cleaner, but he doesn’t want to wash the dishes or the washing machine doesn’t want to iron. Some functions in the basic configuration are missing, not provided.
- The husband should understand me intuitively, guess all my desires. - thinks almost every second woman. At the same time, she sometimes does not understand herself, but her husband MUST! There is no function in men "to understand women", in the basic configuration there is no, and in the advanced and even in the "Premium" version. Only marriage swindlers understand women well.
- The wife should keep the house clean, be a good mother, wait in the evening with a hot dinner and desire for sex, work in a good position. - every man is sure. It's real, right? For your information, the wife is also human. A woman, like a man, has two hands and 24 hours a day. Even the fabulous Vasilisa the Beautiful had assistants. So the “All inclusive” function, even if the spouse has it, is somewhat limited.
Reproaches, criticism, discontent, devaluation once lead to a break.
Why is it bad in marriage and where do scandals come from?
You and your partner can be wonderful people. No mockery, actually flawless in every way. If we consider each separately, then you will not find fault.
What doesn't stick? Why is marriage so bad for both? Where do the scandals come from for loving people?
The answer is so simple and obvious that often people don't even pay attention to it. It's all about values and goals.
What is the foundation of family values?
The theory of values is extensive, I will not go deep. I will only say that life is a way of realizing your own values. Everything, absolutely everything that a person does - he does on the basis of his values, this is like a life foundation. And this is so important that he will go into conflict, defending what is important to him. And every time, where your values do not coincide, there will be a conflict. It's unavoidable!
If you live according to the principle "we will not save, we will earn more", and your partner according to the principle "a penny - the ruble saves," will there be a conflict? Will be! Because labor and money are in different categories of values.
If you think that you need to talk affectionately with children, and your partner believes that you need to tear them up like sidor goats, will there be a conflict? Will be!
If you are a supporter of a healthy lifestyle and proper nutrition, and your partner is a lover of beer and kebabs, will there be a conflict? Will be! Etc.
Values are the foundation on which the home of your life together is built. And if they do not match, then the structure will collapse!
Mismatch of goals in marriage, or where are we going with Piglet?
The second parameter, due to which relationships break down in beautiful people, is the mismatch of goals in marriage. Vasya wants to go on a trip around the world, then conquer Elbrus and go to the Arctic. And Vasilisa - to give birth and raise five children. Will Vasya go on a trip? Probably yes. But not with Vasilisa. And if Vasilisa, nevertheless, goes with him, she will feel deeply unhappy and think: “Why does he not understand such simple things? What a joy it is to sit in your house in the evening by the fireplace and read books to the little ones. But Vasya doesn't understand! Maybe he has value in children, in his home and fireplace, but somewhere out there, after exploits, in the second half of his life. Will Vasilisa give birth to five children? Perhaps yes, but not from Vasily. And if from Vasya, then he will feel deeply unhappy and drink, for example.
A family boat can only sail in one direction. Therefore, so that your marriage is not doomed, you agree with your spouse about goals and a route, or you part. So that everyone can achieve their own, and not someone else's, goals, and the marriage is strong.
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