The Psychology Of Infidelity. How It All Starts, But Is Often Overlooked

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Cheating is often called betrayal. That is, these two concepts are identical. It should be noted right away that questions of infidelity in relationships are always very intensely colored by negative emotions. Therefore, understanding the psychology of infidelity can be painful or downright frustrating. But what is the difference between treason and betrayal. The point is that betrayal involves breaking a promise or obligation. For example, people who have violated an oath or some kind of guild rule-obligation are called a traitor. Cheating in a relationship suggests that there is, albeit an unspoken, rule that both partners have accepted and promised to abide by. But on the other hand, such (often unspoken, dumb) contracts are concluded, as it were, for eternity. And nothing can last forever. That is, at a time when one of the partners has a need for treason, the second believes that everything is fine and the contract continues to operate. At the same time, the reasons for changes in relationships and the actual changes that are already alienating two once close people remain outside the focus of attention.

And then there is an explosion! When in a relationship it becomes known about infidelity, one of the partners in an instant collapses the whole scenario lived in the relationship. In addition, anxiety is sharply increasing in connection with the fact that the future, which yesterday seemed quite clear, is now uncertain, like a black abyss. The same applies to the immediate past, if it becomes known that the betrayal has been going on for some time. Against the background of increased anxiety, trust in a loved one who plays an important role in life is lost, which leads to suspicion bordering on paranoia, low mood and even greater anxiety. And with such an affective tangle, attempts are made to interact with your partner, which, of course, is usually not at all effective. When this does not work out, attempts are made to find some kind of excuse, an explanation for such behavior. To unravel the motivation, to understand what in their behavior "could lead to this." But in reality, betrayal occurs after a crisis in the relationship, sometimes not noticed by one of the partners, after which the old relationship ends, being replaced by something new. It can be a relationship between two parents, two roommates, companions, but not two loving people. And cheating, in addition, is often a tool to sabotage relationships. This is especially noticeable in situations where she is not particularly hiding.

In my video, I have collected several common explanations for my own infidelity. The way men who were previously in a relationship see it. At the same time, such explanations most often cause a violent emotional reaction in women, since they are perceived as excuses.

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