2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are many reasons why people avoid serious relationships: childhood traumas, unwillingness to take responsibility, intimate problems, the desire for independence, and others. Today we will talk about those cases where the fear of a new relationship is associated with a breakup.
As a rule, people avoid new attachments if the past partner was either very good or brought a lot of suffering. And the gender of the person does not matter. Experience shows that in this case, men and women are practically the same.
If the partner was close to ideal, then the person will avoid new relationships, fearing that they will be worse and will only bring disappointment.
If the past experience was negative, then there is fear and confidence that the rapprochement leads to resentment, pain and disappointment.
How can you overcome your fear of new relationships?
- First, we must admit and accept it.
- Secondly, it is necessary to survive the breakup or loss of a loved one. If at first you want to hide from everyone and cry, then this must be done. You should not live actively in defiance of yourself. If the pain does not let go, then you need to enter the usual rut slowly and slowly, but you do not need to delay the process too much. To meet a close friend, to go for a short walk is already a victory.
And only when the wounds of loss have healed, you can begin to prepare yourself for future relationships. First, you need to analyze past experience: what was wrong, what I would like to remove, and what, on the contrary, to bring into a new relationship. You do not need to immediately rush to find a partner, it is important to fill your life: hobbies, acquaintances, hobbies, change of image - this will help you feel independent and interesting person. It is important to love and respect yourself, not to blame for the breakup.
So, the first step towards overcoming fear has been taken. Is this enough to move on?
Accepting and getting over the breakup is the first step towards overcoming the fear of a new relationship. The second step is to start from scratch.
If the ended relationship was painful, then trust in the opposite sex is lost. And that's okay. But don't live with this mistrust. It is necessary to leave the past in the past, not to carry the burden of resentment and fears into the present.
In no case should you compare a new relationship with an ended one.
Trusting again is difficult, but it is very important to learn how to do it. No one is protected from mistakes, but after all, every acquaintance, every date is a new experience, new impressions and a new opportunity to find happiness. Nobody guarantees that now everything will end "they lived happily ever after."
But is it necessary at the moment and will it be needed later? Probably, a couple of joyful joint weeks, months, and maybe even years will be enough. Sometimes it is necessary to live in the present without thinking about the distant future.
The mistake of many is that they are looking for the ideal, but there are no ideals. It is important that there is a person next to whom you can rely and whom you can trust.
It is not at all necessary that the new partner will be similar to the previous one. Now there is another person next to him, which means that everything will be different with him.
You need to learn to trust people again gradually, listening to the voice of reason. It is imperative that you be yourself, not thinking about the impression you make.
It is advisable to tell your partner about your fears and concerns. This will give the right not to open up completely and not to rush in a relationship. It is important not only to wait for attention from a partner, but also to show sincere interest in him, to let him know himself.
And the most important rule is not to be a victim. No matter how painful the breakup was, it remained in the past, which means that no one can be blamed for this. Everyone builds their own happiness and manages their lives.
There are times when you cannot overcome the fear of a new relationship on your own. Sometimes its roots are so deep that only a professional psychologist can help.
The beginning of any relationship is a chance for happiness, which means you should not be afraid of it. Is not it?
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