2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is impossible to live life without ever facing crises. But the most important desire that arises in a crisis is that this should not happen at all. A crisis is always accompanied by pain, fear, and panic attacks. Life seems to be flying in the wrong direction.
What are you doing?
You either start reading books on how to deal with it, or you start looking for a therapist who can tell you exactly what to do to get it over.
Nobody wants to suffer from a crisis.
But when some disturbing event happens, you have a surplus of vital energy. It is vitality that you have to get used to. Your psyche, for example, is used to processing 200 units of this vitality, and now it is 500. There is a traffic jam.
And you are acting almost suicidal in trying to eradicate this vitality. Because for your development, quality of life and movement towards happiness - this is your "fuel" and necessity. Moreover:
These 300 units of vitality are your life
The worst thing we are trying to do with the crisis is to fight. What you need to do is just learn how to deal with the surplus of vital energy.
Vitality is the material for building either happiness or unhappiness
It can be spent on the process of your development and transformation, or on some symptom, such as sprains, constant conflicts with loved ones and depression. You can cope with the symptom yourself. There is always a concept that will happily place your crisis energy into pain.
But to build happiness and transformation, you need someone else. This is the one who helps you to skip not 200 units, but 500. This someone helps not to cope with the crisis, but to experience it.
The most optimal someone is a psychotherapist. But this is not the only person who has the sacred knowledge of how to experience an excess of vital energy. It may well be a close person with a kind heart who will not selflessly save you from a crisis.
Not saving from the crisis, not teaching how to live - this is the main task of this someone.
Talking to such a person, you start to tell more and more personally to him. This is called presence contact.
Being present in our lives is a luxury
We are used to contacting people functionally - at the level of events, requests, promises and spending time together. But being in contact is a completely different thing.
It is costly to be present, but necessary in a crisis.
If we do not restrain the volume of vitality, then instead of anxiety we feel joy, warmth, sometimes fear. Only then can we spend this energy on our development. This is the only way to begin to notice in the crisis those desires that you did not notice before.
If you cope with the crisis, you will never notice these new desires
You may discover some new values and notice that those people who were next to you begin to move away, and those who were far away or were not at all in your life become closer.
The transformation of social relations in a crisis is inevitable
Because you will start asking yourself questions - do I want to? Perhaps you will change your profession, change your approach, free up creative resources. If you struggle with a crisis, it will not shine for you, but experiencing a crisis can easily become an inspiration that turns into a creative breakthrough.
You will find yourself able to love in a new way
A month or six months after the beginning of the crisis, you look back and ask - have I changed?
The crisis always changes. A crisis is the only way in our life that can help us change.
People don't change when everything is stable, clear and easy
If you are in a crisis, look around and look for the person to whom you would like to personally tell about what is happening to you. If there is no such person, it makes sense to turn to a psychologist so that this excess of vitality does not destroy you, but spills out into creativity.
For more information on crises and how to live with them, see our
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