Relationship. When The Attraction Fades

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In a relationship, a phase comes when it becomes necessary with a volitional effort to invest with oneself, actions, words, behavior, reactions.

The phase is natural and inevitable.

The initial state of fireworks, when an internal, almost physical impulse pushed for deeds, passes.

He can't help but leave. Our nervous system is not iron. Being in constant stress, in a state of intense excitement is an expensive process. Addiction to the "stimulus" occurs. And even if our consciousness opposes this in every possible way - after all, it is so pleasant to live all the time in a state as if drinking a glass of wine in the morning - a whole organism is still smarter than a single consciousness.

And now we gradually come to a state where we feel that a thread of “affection-love-habit” is stretched between us, but nothing pushes us to take a step forward.

And the thread is taut. And you can not take a step, but then it is not very convenient to move and live. The thread is even annoying at this moment. And any of us is faced with a choice: to take a step towards the one from whom everything inside was rattling until recently, then the movements will become free, and the warmth-love-tenderness-desire will intensify or take a step aside, and then the thread will gradually begin to break.

And even at this moment, all the "cockroaches" of a recently desired person become obvious. Previously, they were not noticeable - forces were spent on the implementation of this inner impulse, which pushed forward and gave intoxicated pleasure. And, seeing the "cockroaches", the choice is even more difficult to make.

Now you have to take more than just a step forward. You need to do it, being aware of a bunch of pitfalls. Now the consciousness is not clouded with love intoxication - everything is visible.

And the image of someone who previously looked like perfect so much, now never looks like him.

And the mind says: “Why do you need all this? Step aside, don't waste your energy! You can feel good even without a thread."

But the thread pulls … and the thought that it will break brings sorrow. Although it is clear that you can do without it. And life will be quite normal.

Leaving everything to chance will be equal to a slow, almost imperceptible step to the side. The thread will gradually, if not break, become thinner. And it will be more difficult to keep it.

You ask yourself the question: "Why do I need all this if I can without it?"

Of course, you can do without it.

Especially if you expect that warmth, love, tenderness, comfort, passion and desire should be born by themselves.

But if you remember that any business will only give if you invest in it, it becomes clearer what to choose.

To invest, to give, to meet halfway, you will have to face a bunch of internal stoppers and obstacles. This is not a difficult path. There is a choice. As always, it's important to admit to yourself what you want. Then it will become clearer than ready for the sake of his "want" to pay off.

Anastasia Platonova

psychologist, guide on your way to yourself