Sharp, Offensive Remarks. Attraction Through Aggression

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

Sharp, piercing pain. Waves of heat cover your head, your face stretches into a stupid, bewildered smile. “To sink into the ground right now. Or to pretend that nothing is happening - I am not ashamed, I am not in pain, I am not humiliated by what is happening."

And in the depths it is insulting to tears. If you breathe out a little, then the lump coming up to your throat will sprinkle treacherous tears: "Lord, how insulting!"

It hurts, it is insulting, very uncomfortable, very much. Ashamed.

Taunts, for that and ridicule, in order to humiliate, belittle, make a person less valuable, not important, not significant; trample, trample into mud, level with garbage, destroy. It is extremely difficult to experience it.

But why is this to the other?

Photographer: Korsakova Anna

Treacherous passion.

“I am attracted to you. I like you, I am interested in you, waves of hot excitement rise in my soul, but I will not allow myself this. I would rather destroy you, dump you in the dust and prove to myself and others that you are dirt."

Boys in elementary grades tug at girls by the pigtails, hit them on the head with a briefcase, pinch, tease, and bring them to tears. The stronger the "treacherous passion", the more aggression can get the object of attention.

Teenagers 10-11 years old already "hit" in certain, sexually-colored places. Clinging with his ridicule to the outstanding breasts beyond his years, the rounded priest. What is attractive and alluring, then causes a storm of abuse and ridicule. The awakening passion must be suppressed, and for this there is nothing better than to devalue the object of your passion.

This method of handling the desired object was chosen by the inquisitors, burning the most beautiful women at the stake. To destroy the treacherous attraction, you need to destroy the object of attraction.

In male homophobia, legs grow from the same place. The goal is not to let your urge lift your head.

Girls, girls and women also have their fill of fun with the representatives of their sex. In addition to quite understandable envy and jealousy, there is also a sexual attraction, which falls even more strongly under the "treacherous passion." Teenage girls arrange "showdowns" in which there is an opportunity to touch the object of passion. Push, pinch, hug, grab the chest.

Ladies "better educated" use devastating jokes and taunts, which have a clearly sexual connotation.

Do not get you to anyone else! Jealousy.

What causes a father to spread rot on his daughter? A husband to belittle his wife's dignity? Jealousy. Fear. Fear that this woman will now spread her wings. And then who are you next to her? Will she need you? Will fly away.

But nobody canceled the first point in these stories. A father's “treacherous passion” for his daughter can be expressed both in constant nagging (emotional abuse) and in physical violence, which allows him to legally touch his daughter, to throw out his passion with rage.

The husband may also consider his attraction to his wife as a betrayal of himself. And he takes revenge on her for this attraction.

Resentment and revenge.

Latent resentment shoots poisonous arrows, choosing the most sore spots. “Now then I will avenge you! For all!" The hurt pride demands compensation. On the surface, anger, rage, hatred - cynical, scorching, destructive. It is not so easy for her to admit her grudge to the one who shoots poisonous arrows. Admit your pain. The victim turned into an aggressor. And he doesn't remember anything about his needs (was offended at what?). Now only destroy. And the message behind all this: “I want you to love me. I will destroy you for your dislike."

Envy.

Father's envy of his growing up son. He gets more love and admiration from the most important woman in the world. She fusses around her son, and not around him. He looks with admiring eyes, is proud of him. If the father has nothing to present in return in order to remain interesting for his woman, then he is hard-pressed to lose this competition. The son is younger, more successful, more interesting, and she really loves him. And he always compares with his father. If the father fails in this comparison, it hurts everyone. The father takes revenge. With mockery, grins, caustic remarks, petty meanness, he tries to belittle his son in order to regain his place as the main male in this flock.

The envy of a mother to her daughter. A blossoming bud, a young beautiful girl who still has everything ahead. Against her background, the fading beauty of the mother becomes more pronounced. Bitterness and envy make the mother make sharp remarks about her daughter's appearance and intellectual abilities. So that the mirror continues to say: "You are the nicest in the world, all blush and whiter.."

If the father also emphasizes the difference between the beauty of his daughter and the appearance of the mother, highlighting the daughter and noticing the fading of his wife, then the pain and resentment that overwhelmed an adult woman can be taken out secretly or openly on the daughter.

A mother can take revenge on her daughter not only for her beauty and youth, but also for the fact that "your father offended me." Or "Oh, you are dear to him, well, get it!" Message to her husband: "I will hurt the one who is dear to you!"

The envy of a mother to her daughter-in-law. “And is she really better than me? Ha!" "Lord, and who did he find?" Envy and jealousy. “Now I'm not in first place with him. He is not running to me with all his problems. He trusts her more than me. From her, he expects recognition, praise, support. I am thrown away, I am used material. I am an empty shell. I am not needed, my time has passed. " If a woman is unable to recognize and accept the changed state of affairs and her shifted role, then she starts a competitive struggle with her daughter-in-law, forcing her to choose "either me or she", and in fact, demanding that her son return to the bosom of the family. "Come back to me, we will live happily together, as before!" In this situation, the daughters-in-law have a very difficult time. And even more so for sons.

Envy and jealousy of the husband's sister. "Better brother-in-law four than one sister-in-law."

When a brother has a girlfriend, and even more so a wife, the role of a sister in his life is greatly shifted. If the brother is the elder, then for the girl - he is the ideal guy - the strongest, the most beautiful, the smartest. Desirable but not available. And now this prince has chosen a princess and this is not her. His brother's girlfriend boorishly captured all his attention, wears his T-shirts, he closes himself in the room with her, devotes songs to her … In a few years she may become His wife or she will be another royal …

The younger brother is a creature that all childhood looked with devotion and adoration at the older sister. And now it turned out that someone else has become the object of adoration.

The pain of my sister, who was once the best friend, and now has gone to the 120th plane, makes it painful to take revenge on the woman who took this wonderful guy away.

There is also the envy and jealousy of brothers and sisters among themselves, forcing revenge, belittling, devaluing.

There is professional envy. Thanks to her, colleagues can violently break spears, trying to find a sore spot in the opponent and dip him into a bucket of shit. Allowing someone to be cooler and more successful than you, in the field where you yourself put a lot of effort, is a real challenge.

Not only revenge and envy, but also the desire to get closer can be manifested through emotional violence - sharp jokes, remarks, sarcasm.

I started writing this article with one goal - to show that sharp jokes and caustic remarks are not about you, but about the motive that drives the person who lets them go to you

No one has the right to be emotionally abusive towards you. No one on this Earth has such a right.

But there is one more important point - I hope this article will help you to notice the manifestation of your own emotional abuse. And see your motives.