2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Everyone has had crises and conflicts in their lives. For some, they end well and with gains, for others with complications and losses. Often we want support, advice, and even better help. For this we go to girlfriends, friends, relatives, who themselves are often also in conflict or crisis and are themselves ready to come to us for the same. Cry together, be comforted, once again confirm your guess that "the world is cruel and unfair to you." We are confident that our friend or partner is excellent at understanding the twilight nooks and crannies of our soul and motivation. For some reason we are in no hurry to look there ourselves. But apart from his own reflection, our loved one will not see anything else there.
We consider it normal to go to the doctor when we are sick; go to the dentist when you need to pull out a tooth; go to the shoemaker when the shoes are worn out; pay for food in the store when hungry.
But we consider it not normal to go to a psychologist or psychotherapist when the soul hurts, when crises and conflicts drag on for decades, when losses follow us.
At the same time, we will persistently convince everyone, and first of all ourselves, that we terribly want to help ourselves. And to a friend's question: "So go to a psychologist", we will always answer: "Yes, they are all sick" or "Yes, I myself, as a psychologist."
We are confident that we have unique strength and thousands of years of psychological knowledge that even being inside our pain, crisis or conflict, we will be able to look at everything from a different angle and find a solution.
No.
We will not be able to. Because there is no longer any strength for this. Because conflicts drag on for years, crises and illnesses turn into chronic ones and drain tons of our energy from us.
When you have the strength, you don't have to look for a solution for decades. You don't have to get divorced for many years, be alone, go to a hated job. Because everything and everything has a solution.
We remind ourselves that if we go to a girlfriend or friend, she or he will definitely say something like that, make sure that there is a way out. Maybe for some time there will be an improvement, but then everything will return to normal again. Because our friends are in pain as much as we are. And we are friends precisely because we have the same pain, and in family systems there is a lot in common.
Therefore, never look for a solution to your problems and conflicts through qualified help, let the soul unravel everything by itself, it is no stranger to it!
Never go to a psychologist or psychotherapist, continue to suffer deliciously and brightly, which means now this is the best that you can offer yourself.
Do not try to decide to help yourself for real!
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