Envy And Greed Give Birth To This Heavy Sadness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In no case am I going to stigmatize and denigrate greed and envy. What for? This is inherent in all of us. And it even has many positive aspects.

Envy often drives development and inspires. Although, of course, it may well poison existence. And greed makes us take more active care of ourselves, our resources, time and energy. Although, of course, greed can also destroy our relationship.

But let's take a deeper look.

How do we get greedy and jealous? And when do greed and envy breed deep depression?

Do you remember how a healthy baby in a hungry state grabs the nipple of the mother's breast? - Greedy! And drinks greedily. And he is outraged when taken away.

Have you seen how a toddler who still cannot walk properly reacts to other children who have a new and colorful toy? - Envious! He wants the same for himself. He can ride up on a walker or pull up a parent and violently take away the toy. And the other will not give up, will be greedy. And the first one will yell and demand.

Have you seen how jealous children react to their mother's attention to someone else?

Have you noticed how eagerly kids of kindergarten or early school age rush to those who show warmth, attention, interest to them? - You can't drag it away!

The more greed and desire to capture warmth, attention, toys, food, time and attention of adults - the healthier and stronger the baby is. If this is not interfered with, then the child grows up self-confident, ambitious, able to want, set goals and achieve them.

Of course, each child has his own temperament, his own speed of switching attention and his own strength of his retention. But the common thing for any child is to get EVERYTHING they want. And parents already regulate this at their own discretion.

Parents and the environment control the amount of what the child receives for his use and what will be deprived. The kid cannot receive absolutely everything for himself - it is not real and harmful. But it's one thing when a child gets rejected for one tenth of his desires, and another thing when nine-tenths.

Constant refusals and demonstrations that others have it, but you do not, multiple repetitions of deprivation and impossibility - can form a depressed personality, confident in his inability to achieve what he wants, no matter what you do.

Healthy aggression of unsatisfied desire allows you to protest when what you want is impossible, to resist and come up with ways (creative approach to life), how to get yourself a better place, better conditions and greater comfort. But there are also a very large number of people who, in childhood, learned that no matter how much you protest and try, you will most likely get a failure, a refusal and a blow to the heart, that you again could not …

What happens inside the carrier of this sadness?

How does someone who has given up long ago feel? - And only the caustic spirit of envy will never sleep in the soul.

There, with them, everything is fine, but not with me. There is a good relationship, warmth and good luck, there is happiness, success and prosperity, but I’m not there. I really want to have everything like theirs! And I don't even know which side to approach this. And when I grope for success, I am flooded with such delight, I begin to be so proud of myself that I seem inadequate to myself and others. I am ready to move mountains, just to get at my disposal at least something as good as others, to feel the happiness that is written on their faces. But my greed at such moments scares people away, I cannot want and rejoice. I can demand and dodge, but I do not know how to want. If only desire looms on the horizon, I jump from desire to desire, grab onto everything, in fear of losing my luck. I repel others with the desire to snatch a piece for myself, because I do not believe that I can get something simply and deservedly. Also, I do not believe that I will get another chance, although the situations I always have the same.

I do the same in relationships. I dive into them with all my heart, I lose myself and am ready for any deeds and dedication, but this does not make anyone happy. And only strains, tiresome or angers a loved one. Or he himself becomes depressed, just like me, when I lose hope of finding myself in my actions.

Everything that I usually do, I do from under a stick, through force or when cornered. During periods of activity, I grab onto everything and cannot focus on myself. I lose my sense of proportion when hope arises. And in periods of melancholy and powerlessness, everything seems difficult and not interesting to me.

I and my manifestations are not aligned. There is very little real me in my actions. I am either drowning in them from haste to grasp the topic as soon as possible and not let it go. Or I’m doing something wrong and I hate it.

I can't stand failure and failure. I understand that there is no life without them. But when I put up with them, it's torture. I'd rather die than endure another setback.

And therefore, I prefer not to do anything and deny myself a lot. Partly so as not to waste time and energy from others. Partly because I don’t believe in the success of my endeavors or in the fact that I can get what I want. Gradually, I learned not to want anything. The circle of desires and needs has narrowed to those with fewer negative experiences. And where there is a good experience, I am persistent, sticky, domineering and assertive unnecessarily.

I am usually calm, but treacherous jealousy reminds me that I am not all right. When I see happy and contented people, I feel that I was, is and will be deprived of something important. And I am unbearably sad and sick of it. I want to leave and not see and not know these cheerful and self-satisfied people.

And now it would be nice to find someone who will understand me and will not criticize or force me to do anything. Who will hear my longing for the impossible. And shed tears with me for all my endless losses.

Such conditions are treated. Grief. By separation. Acceptance. Search. A planned and thoughtful action. A positive relationship experience where frustrations will take up one tenth of the experience, not nine tenths.

Imagine that you are dealing with a person who constantly fell and therefore refused to walk at all. Every step is a wound and suffering. He looks at the walkers with envy. And he fusses greedily and acts at random and in a hurry, as soon as he feels the strength in his legs - but again experiences disappointment. It is useless to teach, shame, condemn, motivate - he is sick without that. The gap between I and want-do-receive is huge.

Therefore, if you are near, then your task is not to widen this gap by asserting your power and your innocence. For envy and greed are cured only by personal (and not someone else's) success. Even the smallest, but honest. And often these are not at all accepted achievements in society, but success in the manifestation of rage, irritation, disappointment and self-affirmation.