2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What to do with the fact that your needs are tied to one person? How can you find different ways to satisfy them?
If your need and the way to satisfy this need are tied to one person, you are lost. This is a direct path to codependency.
If you are faced with a situation where your needs are met, but not those, ask yourself a question - are you deliberately organizing close contact with people that you do not need, with whom you are not interested or it is not important to be?
If you look at your life this way and look it in the eye, it may turn out that you are not building it the way you would like. Because most of the time you spend with those you are not interested in.
What then happens to those people who are really interesting and important to you? Do they know that it is really important for you to be with them? Most people may not even be aware of this, but there is a bigger problem!
You can start treating your need as something overwhelming. And bind her satisfaction only to those people who are truly important and interesting to you.
You will be vulnerable in this place
This applies to most of our needs, which are intimate. After you realize that you have this need, a period of special vulnerability may come. After all, you have realized this need, and now you can rush with all heroism to the place where it can be satisfied.
But other people were not born in this world to meet your needs!
It may turn out that they simply cannot do it - now or in principle. Or you want recognition and they don't think you are very smart or talented.
You may face rejection
But an important component of any need is the other person's right to refuse. If you want your need to be satisfied, you can get enough in this place only if you understand that the person from whom you want to get saturation can refuse you.
This is important in terms of your growth and the situation necessary for our development.
If your development is constantly being satisfied, there is no room for development. Therefore, the situation when they are not satisfied can be very valuable to you.
Be as attentive as possible to what is happening to you, in detail - at the moment when you are faced with rejection.
But it also happens in another way
Our needs are known to us, we declare them, other people satisfy them, but there is no joy. There is a process of satisfying the need, but after saturation does not occur.
The first possible problem is that you missed the need. This may not be your need. Maybe you spied on it and it's conceptual.
Perhaps this need is a way to fulfill another. For example, when you buy expensive clothes, you want recognition. As you expand your travel zone, you are looking for happiness. When you want to receive flowers from your husband, you want love. And then it is obvious that your needs are not being met. You are not asking for that and looking for the wrong thing.
What to do?
Close your eyes, imagine how in this situation you could feel as good as possible? If you pay attention to detail, there will be new things in this picture that you have not seen before. Needs that you didn’t know about, and possible ways to meet them that you didn’t even think about.
Experiment, but the best way to notice something new is to go to Igor Pogodin! There, realizations develop very quickly!
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