Contact With Children, What Are The Consequences Of His Absence

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There is such a cartoon "Undecorated". When I first saw him, I was very impressed with him. In 8 minutes, the whole essence of adults with attention and love deficits is shown.

Circumstances so developed that many people grew up in those periods when their parents could not really devote time to them. It was absolutely natural that the children were sent to a nursery. In the modern world, mothers are also not given the opportunity to sit with their children. Their employers "pull" from the decrees, at best, a year after giving birth.

To this I will add such phrases as "do not carry a lot on your hands, there will be a tame child", "you leave it, once it cries, the second, and then it will stop." I also heard stories of how dads closed their mothers in other rooms so that they would not approach a crying baby and make him tame.

Once, at a seminar, I heard the idea that people in old age are given to nursing homes by those children whom parents at a young age gave to nannies or to a nursery. If you look at the countries in which this is common, you will notice such a connection.

The cartoon is about girls. However, I see in modern society "underbought" both among women and men.

There is such a thing as "hospitalism syndrome". It occurs as a result of weaning children from their mothers. The reasons may be as follows: premature birth, when the baby is placed in special conditions for survival, and the mother is not around; illness of the child after birth; aloofness of parents; mom's rejection of the newborn. One way or another, the separation of a little child from his mother affects his psychological characteristics and development.

Psychologist R. Spitz conducted a study in shelters and women's prisons. In the orphanage, due to lack of attention, almost 40% of children died. At the same time, in prisons where sanitary and hygienic care and living conditions were worse, not a single child died (during the study period).

What helped these children not only survive, but also have an interest in life? - Contact with mom.

If we analyze mental development, then the kids from the orphanage were either too passive or overly aggressive. When in contact with people, they were either frightened or too intrusive. The older they got, the less their interest in life was. And the problem of children from prisons was curiosity and enterprise, which was difficult to realize in their living conditions.

In fact, not only contact with mom is important. It can be any woman who can give love and care. This is how the Soviet orphanages reduced the spread of the hospitalism syndrome.

What to do?

Today, almost every person knows that "crazy", provoking quarrels, capriciousness, etc., are pure attraction of attention, the opportunity to feel their need, care and love of a dear person. In other words, this is our way of "finishing".

Find out from the people who are dear to you what your actions they feel as a manifestation of love, care and attention. Give them this more often. Over time, you “supplement” them, and they will become more resilient, confident, protected, which will reduce their aggressiveness and agitation.

Also satisfy your own need for attention. Ask your loved ones, friends, and family about it.

Love you, care and attention.