School Of Real Males

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

To become a successful male, to have as many women as you want, to easily seduce the girl of your dreams, to forget about failures on the love front forever, to become an unsurpassed seducer - all this is promised by numerous pickup courses, which today are probably operating in every city of Ukraine

Pickup - the art of seduction, is more popular today than ever. In just a couple of months, or even days, pickup trainers promise to turn anyone who wants to become an experienced Don Juan

Pickup (from English pick up) is the science of quickly seducing a woman. Modern society is a consumer society. Today we are all tuned in to a quick result - a loan in 5 minutes, English in 10 lessons, pizza delivery in 10 minutes.

Sex is no exception, why waste time on dating, courtship, building relationships, if you can achieve what you want quickly and with a minimum of effort? It is this accelerated seduction that is taught in pickup courses. This phenomenon is not new - the pickup movement originated in the United States back in the 70s of the last century, but it has become widespread only in recent years. Not the least role in its popularization was played by the availability of the Internet, where there are a lot of sites and pickup forums, where participants share their own knowledge and experience.

Girl, do you have a waste …?

The art of seduction itself has existed at all times. But only today has it acquired such dangerous effectiveness. Modern pickup schools offer listeners a fairly simple set of techniques borrowed from the field of NLP - neurolinguistic programming.

NLP is a concept of hidden influence on human thinking, which allows you to induce a person and even groups of people to programmed reactions. Actually, this concept was developed for use in psychotherapy, while pickupers borrowed some manipulation techniques from it. The most common pickup techniques are:

- Non-standard conversation start. For example, a young man, approaching an unfamiliar girl, utters an ordinary phrase in general, but the words in it can be rearranged. Instead of "Allow me to treat you to a cocktail," he says, "In the evening, would you let me treat you to this stuffy cocktail?" This is one of the classic NLP techniques. The victim is lost for a few seconds, she needs time to understand the meaning of what was said. And this short pause gives the pick-up artist room for the next attack.

- "Cinema" - in NLP, physical contact with a person is called kinesthetics. Touch is one of the key pickup techniques. Touch is the entrance to the closest distance; it is the first step towards convergence. Touching actively affects the sensory-emotional sphere, therefore, the victim, letting the pickup artist get so close to him, gradually loses the ability to resist. In a pickup truck, there are countless options for "cinema" - from shaking off random specks from the victim to giving a hand at the exit from the door.

- "DB" - "Closer, further". The essence of this technique is to alternate a clear interest in the victim with a sudden indifference. For example, a pick-up artist makes a lot of efforts to be interesting and charming, begs for the victim's phone - and, having received it, disappears. The girl is surprised at this behavior, waiting for a call. But the pick-up artist only calls a few days later when the victim loses hope. After a long wait, she is so delighted with the call that she willingly agrees to a date. This is exactly what the pick-up man wants.

- "Kryshesnos" - a deliberately created acute situation that allows the victim to experience emotional shock. This can be anything from walking through a subway tunnel to visiting a cemetery or a handstand on the eaves. It all depends on the imagination of the pick-up artist. Strong emotions are the basis of falling in love.

- "Adjustment" - Pikaper encourages the girl to talk about himself, he needs to get as much information as possible, which he then uses to seduce. He is interested in everything - what the victim loves, what he enjoys, how many girlfriends she has and how many guys there were. He listens attentively to the girl, observes her reactions, manner of communication, facial expressions - and copies all this. This "adjustment" to the interlocutor allows you to instantly win over the person. Moreover, the victim begins to think that she has known the pick-up artist all her life, that she has found a "kindred spirit" and she has never felt so easy and good with anyone else.

- Anchor is also one of the NLP techniques, the essence of which is the creation of certain conditioned reflexes. In a pickup, anchoring is a technique when a pickup, saying compliments to the victim, as if casually and unobtrusively touches certain parts of her body. Thus, "anchors" are created - the girl subconsciously associates this touch with pleasant emotions. Later, offering the victim sex, the pickup artist will touch one of his known points - and cause pleasant associations.

Casanova, Casanova, call me this …

As a rule, most pickup courses promise students that in their trainings they will learn to be free, relaxed, increase self-esteem and gain confidence, learn to communicate and build harmonious relationships. But in reality … The philosophy of the pickup is cruel and cynical.

Modern schools of "the art of seduction" teach their adherents to be proud of sexual achievements, manipulate people in the sexual sphere and ignore social, moral, ethical norms.

Selfishness and consumerism proper is the main ideology of modern cauldrons and don Juans. There is no talk of any long-term relationship: “to mold new relationships is much more interesting and easier than constantly patching up existing ones” - one of the principles of modern “pick-up without rules”. Any high feelings are not allowed either - pickup trainers, talking about how they should treat women, like to quote the famous statement of Oscar Wilde - “A man can be happy with any woman - on condition what he her not loves . However, the pickup masters at the same time forget to mention that the great Briton generally had a difficult relationship with the weaker sex, since the writer was gay.

Also, not a single pickup truck master will tell in his courses or in his books that when a person is forced to do something against his will, it is violence. And manipulation is a type of indirect violence, because a person is forced to do what she really does not want.. Victims of such violence face the same feelings and experiences as victims of physical violence. The consequences of such injuries are delayed in time, because a person does not immediately realize that he is being used banally. However, this is no less difficult for him. However, pickup trainers convince in their courses the opposite - “You're a cool guy, aren't you? You want to have a good time, right? You want to have crazy sex, right? The girl wants the same! And if you give her the opportunity to experience all this with you, then why should you feel guilty?"

Expert opinion

Is it really possible to become a professional seducer by mastering all the techniques described above? Do pickup courses really increase self-esteem, teach to build harmonious relationships? Doesn't a person's personality destroy such a cynical and consumerist attitude towards a woman? And how can this affect the future life of a pickup truck?

These questions were answered by Andrey Zlotnikov, a practicing psychologist and psychotherapist, a member of the Ukrainian Union of Psychotherapists

- Actually, today in Ukraine, not all pickup courses teach manipulation and seduction.- our expert begins the conversation - A lot of coaches just talk about how to be more confident in communicating with the opposite sex, how to overcome shyness and embarrassment, how to build a conversation correctly and what to pay attention to when communicating. Simply put - they teach confidence and attention, without using any "scary" techniques. Although, of course, more "evil" pick-up artists, whose goal is to seduce as many girls as possible with the help of manipulations, are also found here.

- Do pickup techniques really work?

- Of course they do. With the help of NLP techniques, it is quite simple to impose a certain sequence of actions on a person, to program his reactions. And the banal attentiveness to the interlocutor, compliments, the ability to maintain a conversation - all these are fairly simple, well-known ways to win over a person.

- In fact, after taking a short course, you can become a master of pickup?

- I do not think. The fact is that most of those who are interested in a pickup are not some scary sexually anxious men who dream of sleeping with all the women of the planet, but timid, shy, not very self-confident, possibly neurotic, young people who for some reason they are embarrassed to meet girls. I do not see anything wrong with the fact that they will adopt a few pickup techniques, learn to behave in a relaxed manner and may risk getting to know someone. And if such a guy, with the help of some trick he learned, gets to know a girl, it is not a fact that it will end badly, perhaps this will be the beginning of a long and mutually happy relationship.

The negative side of the pickup is the vulgar presentation of information, far from ethical declared goals, not entirely clean and conscientious manipulating techniques. Actually, if a person just needs to become more self-confident, raise self-esteem, learn to communicate and build relationships, he can find for himself a lot of other trainings or courses conducted by experienced, professional and competent psychologists. And which will be able to give the listener much more useful skills and knowledge than similar pickup trainings.

- Most pickup ideologues do not approve of long-term relationships, they teach that "there are many women - and you are one." Does this mean that having learned to get acquainted and seduce, the pickup artist still will not solve his problems. After all, he was taught only a short-term acquaintance.

- Not necessary. Not all young people need a constant change of partners. Rather, it is typical of adolescents at a certain stage of personality maturation. Older people are looking for more stable relationships. And many can use pick-up techniques to get to know each other, to strike up a dialogue. After all, situations when two people live in the same entrance, they like each other, but are embarrassed to get to know each other, are not rare. If a pick-up course helps a person to muster the courage to make an acquaintance, that's not a bad thing (repeat the above).

Another thing is that if a person has an obsessive need to establish sexual contacts with many women, this is also, in general, not uncommon. But such behavior indicates the existence of serious internal, and maybe mental problems. Perhaps due to some trauma suffered, such a person cannot establish close relationships and replaces them with sex, perhaps the reason is something else. But in any case, neither pick-up trainings, nor any other trainings will help such a person, because intimacy, love, deep relationships cannot be replaced by satisfying only the sexual need. And having mastered all the techniques of a pickup truck, such a person will not solve his main problem.

Printed: Arguments of the Week.

Journalist: Svetlana Radic