2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A person who separates himself from other people
deprives himself of happiness, because the more he separates himself, the worse his life.
L. N. Tolstoy
Love, closeness and support are important for every person in life. Unfortunately, more and more people are experiencing a sense of loneliness instead. We will look at five major causes of loneliness.
1. Low self-esteem
The love of others begins with self-love. This is a well-known truth, and it seemed that everyone was familiar with it, but not everyone followed it. Every woman has many virtues, and the question is what she pays attention to: what a beautiful look she has, or that her foot size is over 38. If you walk and think about what is wrong, then the man pays attention to this.
For example, a cute blonde with a beautiful slender figure walked around with a sad expression all the time, and she perceived the courtship of men as a mockery. Only because she was sure that everyone can see the hump on her nose, which she does not like. If you radiate confidence and openness, then there will always be men around you. After all, your focus of attention will not be on your shortcomings, but on your merits and how interesting it is to spend time together.
2. Negative attitudes
Our brains are designed in such a way that it finds confirmation of what we believe. For example, if a woman decides that "all men are goats," her unconscious will give her arguments in favor of this belief. And even the best man in the world cannot change that. The woman will either not notice him, or will find exactly the fly in the ointment that will allow her to say: "I told you - they are ALL goats."
And here it is important to make a choice: you want to stay right, or be happy. It is important to change negative attitudes. Try experimenting. Pick one day. And no matter what man you meet, find 5 positive qualities in him. And so all day long, no matter how many men you meet. I think your mood will improve, and the result will surprise you.
3. Waiting for the prince
All girls in childhood are read fairy tales about princes and princesses. And, of course, every girl imagines herself in the role of a princess who is being rescued by a handsome prince. In adulthood, many continue to search for the ideal, looking at glossy magazines and heroes of romantic melodramas (in fact, the same fairy tales). The problem is that we cannot come up with an ideal and find it. We have to live in the real world, with real people, with their flaws and their imperfection.
It is important to remember that you are not a sleeping beauty, but a real, living woman. And you need a real, live man. Think about the fact that most fairy tales end with a wedding. And how the prince and the princess lived on - no one knows. Think about the advantages and disadvantages you are willing to put up with. And remember that you are not perfect either.
4. Fear
Fear is one of the five basic emotions experienced by a person. Many women are simply afraid of relationships. There may be various reasons for this. Someone is afraid that they will lose their freedom or will not be able to fully realize themselves. Someone is afraid that they may be hurt or hurt. Someone is afraid of the thought of living together. There is fear and expectation behind all of these reasons.
Have you ever watched small children climbing a big hill? They are not afraid. And, as a rule, they conquer their peak, because they have no expectation of a fall. And even after an unsuccessful attempt, they continue to conquer their peaks. So it is here. Fear in this case is a limitation in your life. And only you can make a choice - to be afraid, to expect failures or to take a step towards your happiness. Try to do something in a relationship that you have long wanted, but you were afraid of. And you will see that everything is not so scary. Making mistakes, drawing conclusions and moving on towards your happiness is always better than standing still in a passive position of fear.
five. Lack of time and laziness
Lack of time is one of the most common excuses. You can say that "I am constantly busy, I have an incredible amount of things to do, I hardly devote enough time to friends and parents …". However, the real answer is different: if you think that in your life there is no time for relationships, intimacy, love, then you are not choosing a relationship now.
Sometimes the inability to make time for a relationship can be explained by laziness.
It is much easier to get busy with work, come home late and lie on the couch declare that there is no time for anything than to really act, get acquainted and start a relationship. Internal laziness is also possible. After all, a relationship is a willingness to listen and hear a partner, a search for a compromise, care and the ability to devote time to a loved one, this is a joint movement.
As you can see, the reasons for loneliness can be different. Sometimes this is a really conscious choice of a woman, but more often it is ulterior motives that guide women who in no way can build a happy long-term relationship.
The material was prepared by consultant psychologists Tatyana Arzhannikova and Victoria Kravchenko.
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