2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The desire to be loved is natural. How wonderful it is to wake up together. Look into eyes filled with love. Seeing that someone is good with you and it is mutual. Do something together and it doesn't even matter what. Touch your beloved body and feel the heartbeat that sounds like music, breath. To know that you are the whole world for someone …
Why am I alone?
This question is being asked by many. And they cannot find an answer. After all, in companies there are, and men show interest and look great. What is the question here? Why is this happening? Why do women so eager to find their soul mate never get the desired result?
The answer lies in the depths of their inner world. And there may be a number of reasons for this. In this article, I have identified ten, which will be discussed further.
1. Fear of intimacy
Often these women have never had a truly close relationship in their lives. This is not familiar to them. How is it to be yourself next to another person, when you get used to constantly playing and … changing masks. After all, being close means showing your tears and pain (not feigned, for the sake of a whim), but really felt. But what about it, because I am strong. And it's really scary. You can never foresee how you will be perceived.
After all, being close means seeing and accepting the imperfection of another - a man. Many women are very surprised when they begin to understand what those who “never cry” can feel. These women may be fine with sex and its regularity (occasional partners, short romances, or the role of a lover), but this has nothing to do with intimacy. She's just not there.
2. Fear of losing freedom
Over time, a woman gets used to relying solely on herself. And in the future he is afraid of losing the stability that he has. She is afraid that a man, having appeared, will enslave her and she will not be able to resist this. This fear is inherent not only to those women who have achieved a lot in social terms, but also to those who do not have such success.
I know for sure that a truly intimate relationship is imbued with a sense of freedom. And they contribute to development.
3. Denial of self-worth
Low self-esteem is often based on a negative attitude towards your body, appearance, and abilities. A woman may think that she is not valuable. To believe that apart from sex, she has nothing to give a man. That she no longer has anything to interest him.
Dear women, start to appreciate yourself. Remember that you are unique. Discover the riches that you possess within yourself. You can really give a lot.
4. Aversion to marriage
It is taken out from the parental family. Formed when observing a negative example of family life. Constant scandals, lack of joy, love, manifestations of tenderness, the presence of tears and suffering. When mom and dad aren't enjoying their relationship. Getting used to seeing marriage as something nasty, a girl will only see similar examples in the future. Disgust may not be a particularly expressive feeling. It can manifest itself in considering marriage as something meaningless, unnecessary, useless.
What, you ask, does this have to do with it? Yes, the most direct. The point is, the relationship is either developing or ending. Marriage becomes a natural turn of their development. If this does not happen, they are terminated. Why start something that will soon die anyway?
5. Uncertainty
Often, when asking a woman what kind of relationship she wants, you can hear: “I don’t know …”, “I just don’t want to be alone …”, “I want to be with someone” (sometimes they get “someone”). And you understand that they have not decided yet.
In order for the relationship to become reality, you should understand what kind of man you want to see next to you. Who will be close to you in spirit? Will generate interest and a sense of attraction. How do you want to be treated? It is important to look for exactly "your" person.
6. Fear of experiencing pain again
Very often this fear is an obstacle on the way to the cherished goal. A woman (without even realizing it) is madly afraid of a relationship as an opportunity to relive pain again. Many have had treason, betrayal, lies, violence. They were badly injured. And these wounds are still deeply bleeding deep inside, invisible to others.
Having experienced terrible pain once, the woman says to herself: “Well, no. Better to be alone! Dooming yourself to eternal loneliness.
7. Incomplete relationships in the past
This means that the old relationship is alive, thanks to strong feelings. And it doesn't matter if it's love, hatred or resentment. It can be the death of a loved one and an unlived sense of loss. Divorce, but the hope that he will still come back. Falling in love in a distant youth, still remains the most vivid experience of life.
By maintaining these feelings, you maintain an invisible bond that binds you to this person. And, alas, since your heart is busy, there is no place in it for anyone else.
Listen to yourself and understand if you really want to keep everything as it is? If not, then you need to put the so-called point. Carry out work on completion - write a letter, conduct a virtual conversation, forgive insults, say goodbye to unfulfilled plans and dreams. Letting go of a person, giving yourself the opportunity to be happy.
8. Waiting for the prince
Many have their own ideal created over the years or decades. Yes, one that no man will fit. And when a potential partner appears on the horizon, the unconscious gives out - "cheap".
Often such a lady is waiting for someone unreal who will come and instantly change her life - she will immediately become happy and rich (this is a prince!). That says about the child's view of the world and exorbitant claims to the chosen one. The problem is that a woman does not accept the "humanity" of a man.
I am not asking you to give up your ideal image. Just bring it closer to reality. For example, every person has flaws. What do you want to see in your earthly boyfriend. What are you willing to put up with and what you are not.
9. Disappointment in men or "all men are goats."
The girl endures such a conviction from her parental family. Where the father was far from the best representative of the strong half of humanity. He could beat his mother, get drunk, be cruel, etc. Or a single mother, who did not have a personal life, could “teach life” to her daughter, saying that “all men are goats and bastards”, “they only need one thing from women” …
In the future, predictable disappointments await such a girl. Weighted with such attitudes, she goes in search of those men who will meet her expectations.
It is important to understand that this is your mom's experience, not yours. That the quality of the relationship depends on the two (not only on you and not only on the partner). If you want a wonderful relationship and are ready to try for this, believe me, they will be.
10. Too much desire to get married
Women tend to be obsessed with their age. Many are trying to get married urgently (while the "marketable" appearance is preserved). And this striving is so powerful that it blocks incarnation. All this can be accompanied by the urging of parents, friends, relatives: "Look, otherwise you will remain an old maid", "It's time to give birth to children", "We want grandchildren."
Often such a woman is not in contact with her feelings, does not rely on them. More depends on the opinion of others and considers it more correct. Poor sense of their own boundaries.
Understand that life is yours. And only you can decide how to dispose of it. Answer yourself to the question: “Do I really want to get married? Is this really my desire? " Or do your feelings say something different? Or maybe the lack of relationship is a hidden protest of someone else's will? Learn to say “No! I myself know that it will be better for me. " Feel free to defend your rights.
In order to find a relationship, you need an inner readiness, openness and a desire to accept them. Let go of what hinders this
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