2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How often do you look in mirrors?
How many times a day do you see your reflection? In mirrors, shop windows, car windows, telephone, in water….
Amazing, right? How much we need to reflect. To know how we look, how our clothes fit, whether our hairstyle is in order, if there is something in our teeth …
Without mirrors, it is difficult to understand what my appearance is, what my body is, what color suits me, what emphasizes the charms of my figure, and what hides imperfections, whether my appearance corresponds to the event I am going to, what is the condition of my skin, whether I need a haircut, apply makeup…. And try to buy clothes without a mirror in a fitting room ?!
An incredible number of important things we do and are aware of through the contemplation of our reflection.
It can influence our inner feeling of ourselves, our mood ….
And if you imagine that there are no "mirrors"?
How do you know what I am?
At this moment I remember the phrase “eyes are the mirror of the soul”.
For me, the eyes of another are also a "mirror".
Another sees me.
I can be reflected in it.
He can tell me what I am now.
And we use it a lot.
We believe what others say about us.
We try to impress others.
We often think, "I am the way they treat me."
When we were born, we did not have the opportunity to look in the mirror, it was inaccessible for us to hear dozens of reviews and opinions about who we are.
And we really needed to know, to understand this.
The world looked at us through the eyes of a mother.
The first person we meet.
The first "mirror" in which we reflect.
We love ourselves through the eyes of a mother.
From how she looked at us, what feelings she experienced depended on our sense of self, experience of ourselves.
This is how our own value was formed.
With her we went out into the big world.
And they continued to be reflected.
Learn something new about yourself.
Change.
Develop.
Grow.
Reflect other people.
And it so happens that there was no one to reflect us.
And for a long time we did not know "what I am".
Then they put on everything in a row, looked for what was fashionable, what the majority liked …
Only inside is emptiness …
And if no one “saw” us, we would die.
And we could be reflected with love only when we behaved in a certain way, were "good", comfortable, were "some".
And we gave up a part of ourselves to be loved. They hid the "bad" sides of themselves. And then they believed only in the image that was reflected by a significant adult.
When I think “the eyes are the mirror of the soul,” I understand that the Other can only reflect me by what he is filled with, what is in him and what he is. The mirror into which he once looked.
And this is also valuable to me, because He can see me completely different.
I try it on myself.
Considering.
Sometimes I am surprised at the discovery and assign to myself the part that was not noticed by me.
Sometimes I realize that “this” is not mine, but others can see me that way, and then it is important for me to clarify so that the person sees me, and not his projections.
Sometimes I come across the fact that my manifestation is not due to the actual situation, but to a traumatic experience. And I have a chance to heal, develop, move on.
By reflecting we create each other.
In every meeting.
I am because You are.
The psychotherapist is like a professional Other, a mirror that can reflect me in a safe form, with the least amount of interpretations and additional meanings. After all, he does a lot of work in the process of personal awareness and sensitivity to himself, he can separate his from mine, he does not dress me in projection, but tells how he is with me, what he feels, worries, that he is born to me …
And I can better understand what is happening to me, my feelings, as others with me, what I want.
Psychotherapy is always about knowing yourself next to another, through the other.
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