Fall In Love In 4 Minutes. Threepenny Psychology

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Twenty years ago, psychologist Arthur Aron conducted an experiment, the task of which was to create love in the laboratory between a complete stranger man and woman. The ingredients of the love formula were 36 questions, literally in a couple of hours leading a couple to a degree of frankness, which sometimes takes years. At the conclusion of the experiment, these two had to look each other in the eyes for 4 minutes without looking away (on average, the duration of the "gaze" was from two to four minutes).

The experiment was pretty successful. That is, the degree of closeness of two absolutely strangers grew incredibly, and for one couple, the matter even ended in a wedding and they invited the entire laboratory to the ceremony)) The matter of bygone days reminded us of Mendy Len Cutron, who last summer conducted this experiment on herself and her familiar.

The experience is certainly interesting, but I'm not talking about that, but about what impression the questions themselves made on me. An incredibly useful thing. You don't even need a partner. It helps a lot to check what degree of intimacy you have with yourself, and it is also very good to see the topics that we avoid in life. Moreover, quite quickly, as soon as some questions start to shiver. For example, # 7 "Do you have a secret hunch about how you are going to die?" Wow question. Or # 10 "If you could change anything during your upbringing, what would it be?"

And towards the end there is real heavy artillery "What do you think of your relationship with your mother?", "When and why did you last cry?" or " If you were to die this evening without being able to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not being told to anyone? Why haven't you told them that yet? "

Just express therapy. Try to ask yourself these questions, I guarantee you will learn a lot of interesting things. And if you have the courage, then you can "play" with someone close to you. In the end, it's nice that it turns out that scientists have proven long ago that love is something that can arise as a result of active actions, and not just something that happens and falls on our heads. This "shit happens", but love is still something completely different.

So the questions:

1. Choosing from everyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what field?
3. Before you make a phone call, do you ever practice what you are going to say? Why?
4. What is your ideal day?
5. When was the last time you sang alone with yourself? And for someone else?
6. If you could live to 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. What are three things you and your partner have in common?
9. What in your life do you feel the most grateful for?
10. If you could change anything during your upbringing, what would it be?
11. In 4 minutes, tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow, acquiring a quality or ability, which one / which one?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about you, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you like to know?
14. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why didn't you do it?
15. What is the greatest achievement of your life?
16. What do you value most in your friends?
17. What's your most cherished memory?
18. What was your worst memory?
19. If you knew that within one year you would suddenly die, would you change anything in your current life? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What role do love and affection play in your life?
22. In turn, name the positive characteristics of your partner. A total of five points.
23. How close are your family members? Do you think your childhood was happier than most other people?
24. What do you think of your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true sentences each, beginning with "we." For example, "We both feel in this room …".
26. Continue this phrase: "I would like to share with someone …".
27. If you are going to become a close friend to your partner, please tell us what you think they need to know about you.
28. Tell your partner what you like about him; be extremely honest, say what you could not tell a stranger.
29. Share an unpleasant moment in your life with your partner.
30. When and why did you last cry?
31. Tell your partner what you already like about him.
32. What is too serious, what jokes are inappropriate?
33. If you were to die this evening without being able to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not being told to anyone? Why haven't you told them that yet?
34. Your house with all your belongings is on fire. After rescuing loved ones and pets, you have time to run into the house again and save one thing. What could it be? Why?
35. Which family member would have hurt you the most? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and talk to your partner about how he or she would handle it. Then ask your partner to share how they feel about your choice of problem.