2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For some, praising and loving oneself is a completely natural action that they often do with pleasure, while others, on the contrary, avoid such an attitude towards themselves. They tend to scold and punish themselves more often. At the same time, everyone really wants to be happy, losing sight of one - the moment - this is their state at the present time. After all, if you reason logically, the past is no longer there, and the future is not yet. And there is only now and precisely, this state, which is, there is simply no other. Namely, it largely determines the future.
In life, people use their experience and ideas about life, but they do it with different effectiveness. Sometimes, the attitude towards past mistakes becomes for some of them a stupor for later life, an obstacle to obtaining positive and pleasant results. Attempts to comprehend what happened, which at first had a goal, to understand where a person made a mistake, often lead to the fact that people begin to engage in self-examination. And since we are all brought up in the spirit of self-criticism and shame, for some, “analysis of our own flights” turns into a process of self-abasement. An interesting feature is that people are more inclined to condemnation than to support, attitude towards oneself is no exception. The judgment on oneself can be very long in time, it is surprising that people, sometimes, are so carried away by this that they forget to do at least something to change their state. The process itself and the feelings that a person experiences at the same time do not bring him anything useful. But, as I always say, man is a very creative being, and he invents and convinces himself that the more and more he suffers, the faster and more qualitatively the situation will change in his favor. (Someone refers to fate, God, higher powers, to whom, which is closer).
Another option is when a person, on the contrary, is sure that only he himself and no one else is to blame for all negative and unpleasant events. Such people, more often than others, tend to drive themselves into depressive states, from which, subsequently, they cannot get out on their own. Their passion for self-flagellation is explained by the fact that they strive to understand the details of their mistake as best as possible. Often, they do not notice the very real factors of influence, except for themselves. These people believe they are in control of their lives 100% in some cases 50-60%. In fact, we can control and influence our life as far as our brain is developed. Scientists cite a figure of 5-7% on average. The conclusion is obvious here.
Another common option. When a person, in his worries and unsatisfactory condition, about troubles, begins to look for the cause in the world around him. A dangerous feeling of resentment towards the whole world arises. The concept of justice emerges, moreover, only in relation to oneself and, of course, the transfer of guilt. This position has nothing to do with self-love. This resembles the behavior of a very drunk person who claims that he did not drink himself, but alcohol was poured into him.
In my opinion, such distortions in introspection and unpleasant experiences in people are associated with the habit of paying attention, first of all, to the bad and less to the good. But it is worth changing the angle of view a little and not trying to understand not only why it happened, this or that unpleasant event, but what it and its consequences can teach me in the future, then the duration and severity of experiences will significantly decrease. It should be understood that an event is not about changing it in the past. If this (changing the angle of view) is difficult on your own, you can contact a specialist. It is important to remember that along with responsibility, a person has the right to make mistakes. And acceptance of oneself in the present tense is one of the foundations of self-love.
Live with joy!
Anton Chernykh.
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