How To Increase Self-esteem And Self-confidence: Strategy And Tactics

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Profitable opportunities, high results (higher than the "average for the ward") in life - all this is a consequence of certain actions. Actions taken by a person who is confident in himself and his strengths and adequately evaluates himself, his abilities and capabilities. This is the basics of success! Truths of personal victories.

Everything seems simple, but there is one hitch. Such a person is, by definition, "abnormal." Since the "normal" member of society - the common person - is frustrated and constrained by repressive cultural norms to such an extent that he is hard-wired to constantly "flounder" at the "average" level.

And when there is no strength left for “floundering”, a “normal” person begins to gradually “sink” downward, wasting his personal potential, health and social status, losing self-esteem and the remnants of self-confidence. And in old age it is a miserable stub. To prevent this from happening, you need to do one thing right away - to set yourself up to get out of the state of generally accepted "normalcy".

Where does confidence come from

The difference between a "abnormal" person, that is, more or less free from blockages imposed by socialization, from a "normal" person consists in several essential points:

First - this is ignoring other people's opinions and assessments: a “normal” person is constantly and unconsciously forced to correlate not only his actions and deeds, but also his thoughts with a certain “social norm”. This "social norm" is installed in the head in the process of socialization and is the main constraint on the path to success in life.

Second - this is a willingness to act expediently in their own interests; this is a consequence of such a context of thinking, when you do not need anyone's permission (boss, spiritual authority, parents, etc.) or sanction, but you yourself give the sanction to act.

And finally third - this is a high vital activity, when the body directly senses that it is in a state of "hunting" (ie, moving towards an independently chosen and self-sanctioned goal) and is in a high-energy mode of functioning

All this forms the basis of confidence, that is, that state when there is no doubt about your actions, but there is absolute confidence in your choice and your decisions, and in the fact that you will achieve your goal and get what you really want despite no matter what. Therefore, if a question gnaws at you how to overcome self-doubt, then focus on finding an answer on these points

Getting rid of illusions

The development of self-confidence, in the correctness of one's goal, one's decisions and actions, automatically leads to a change in one's own self-esteem.

After all, if I'm not worried about what others think of me, if I don't care about their words and opinions, if I don't care deeply about the fact that they morally condemn me for something there, then I begin to evaluate myself exclusively on specific facts:

- what I can and what I cannot

- what my actions led to concrete and meaningful results, and which were wrong

- what actions and deeds I am really capable of, and what I am not yet able to reach

Etc.

In this case, I get rid of many myths and lies about myself and my self-esteem becomes adequate to reality. I understand what I really am, with all my weaknesses and shortcomings, but I look at them not through the prism of social standards and collective opinions, but solely from considerations of my own expediency. After all, disadvantages can be compensated for and turned into advantages. Cowardice can be turned into caution and prudence, greed into economy and pragmatism, physical unattractiveness can be turned into an element of one's charisma (in this regard, Vladimir Vysotsky and Savely Kramarov are good examples).

The main thing is to find the courage to accept yourself as you are. Only after this is a successful "detuning" from the external environment possible.

The most important factor in self-confidence and high self-esteem

Confidence itself develops in a very simple cyclical pattern with increasing feedback. Each new success, each new victory, each confident action only strengthens your self-confidence.

The main thing is to get rid of some kind of "blocks" that hinder this process.

First of all, from the inadequate context of thinking, i.e. those attitudes that do not allow to act confidently. These attitudes are a product of social education, which were installed in children's consciousness as a natural component of culture. Do not take your own, do not fight (for your interests), do not promote yourself (do not brag), feed parasites ("help your neighbor"), etc.

Naturally, a person with such attitudes towards reality is a "respected member of society", i.e. A “normal” person, but, in fact, he is an insecure loser, unable to act in such a way as to obtain the desired result (and even unable to formulate it). All his goals that he set (and even achieved!) In life are goals that were unloaded to him in the process of education, i.e. Brainwashing by society. Go to college, get a good job, buy an apartment on a mortgage, etc.

But NOTHING beyond that. Such a person is no longer able to create his own business, launch an interesting project, solve a significant social issue. Because this requires completely different, correct attitudes towards reality. But it is very difficult to accept these new attitudes, to make them a part of your life. It is unpleasant and painful. In my practice, only two categories of people dared to do this - those who were in a state of deep personal crisis and tried to get out of it at any cost; and those who seriously and for a long time embarked on the path of real personal growth, increasing the level of their competitiveness (that is, people who have already achieved a certain success in life and yearning for more).

And, accordingly, with each step in life that they took with new attitudes, they became more and more confident in themselves. Even in spite of certain shortcomings, mistakes, failures, failures and failures. Because the perception of failure has changed. They became feedback from reality. Become what helped to make yourself better, temper your character, strengthen your personality

Strategies and Tactics for Building Unbreakable Confidence

It is important to always remember that insecurity is not some kind of annoying misunderstanding that you can live with, albeit unpleasant. Uncertainty and low self-esteem is a label of a loser. Forever and ever!

Uncertainty blocks your ability to learn new things. And without learning new things, you will never achieve success. Moreover, it is the ability to learn that ensures the ability of a person and the groups to which he belongs to survive in external reality. In other words, if you do not develop confidence in yourself, it is better to immediately crawl towards the cemetery and do not torture yourself and those around you.

Below I will discuss some tactics that will allow you to increase your confidence, as they say, here and now.

The simplest tactic for increasing confidence and self-esteem is, as you probably already guessed for yourself - relying on the already existing successes, victories and those actions and actions that you did, being completely confident in yourself and your strengths. You can keep a "success diary", you can have a "list of victories", you can do something else - the specific form of implementation is not important, the point is in the content. You constantly have to remind yourself that you, in fact, can do a lot. And there is concrete confirmation of this.

Another technique is to change your posture. Insecure people walk hunched over, with lowered gaze and lowered shoulders. Naturally, their entire appearance at the same time non-verbally says "I am nobody", "you can ignore me." A confident person walks in a different way - straightening his back, raising his chin and straightening his shoulders wide. Just walk around the apartment or along the street for some time and you yourself will notice a change in your condition.

Another way of developing confidence is based on the fact that often self-doubt is a product of stress. The fear hormone adrenaline released into the blood makes the body contract and paralyzes all physical and emotional-volitional activity. In nature, this hormone serves to prevent the rabbit from running away from the boa constrictor, but allowing itself to be eaten calmly.

Therefore, to develop confidence, it is useful to learn how to work with stress, quickly neutralizing its manifestations.

The strategy of actions aimed at increasing self-esteem and self-confidence is to become the only person in your life who makes all decisions about himself. Accepts based on his own desires and interests, his own "WANT!", And not imposed "SHOULD!"

"Must" is a favorite word from the lexicon of a "normal" person, whose behavior is controlled by his inner supervisor - a special program in the unconscious, "planted" in the process of education. At different points in time and in different situations, the overseer manifests himself in the form of parents, bosses, work colleagues, friends-buddies, "authoritative boys", etc.

And as long as your thoughts, decisions and behavior are controlled by the overseer, you do not belong to yourself. You are not the master of your life. So you can't feel really confident.

You can sort out your inner supervisor using the tools from the School of Systems Development. Regular and methodical use of these tools guarantees you an increase in the degree of freedom and growth of inner strength.