2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I used to think that all people want to develop, grow as individuals, improve themselves, open up new horizons, raise the level of their abilities, and upgrade their competencies.
Then, after carefully observing people, having held more than a dozen consultations, I realized that I did not adequately perceive reality.
Modern man is neurotic by nature. Civilization made him neurotic, for reasons which I will not talk about here (I talked about them at the webinar "Captured by the Unconscious"). And any neurotic is an ungrateful and illogical creature, driven not by reason, but by passions, schizo, illusions, blind beliefs, etc.
The dream of any neurotic (which he would never admit to, even to himself) is to be presented with everything on a silver platter, that is, to do all the work for him. And he would only have to enjoy the result. Such is the infantilism. It is clear that such a person will not think about any real development. It is better to envy, be angry, throw tantrums and blame everyone for their troubles and failures. And the one who helped something insolently and thanklessly to spit in the face.
Real development is needed only for those who are engaged in some serious business and who have a goal towards which they are moving at least somehow. For coaches, entrepreneurs, executives, coaches, leaders, experts, specialists, in general, professionals, it is vitally important for them to constantly improve their ability to solve problems and achieve goals.
For such people, their own personal and professional growth (the latter is a reflection of the former) is a necessity. Otherwise, sooner or later they will fly out of the cage. Because "who does not go up, he rolls down."
And it is for such people that I want to outline the main milestones of a high-quality and effective (according to the cost-benefit criterion) self-development system. Its essence is as follows:
Step one. Purification of perception. Our life results are directly affected by the adequacy of the perception of reality. All decisions made in a state of low level of adequacy ALWAYS generate low quality results. Therefore, in order to screw up less and not to screw up, you need to learn to see things as they are.
Step two. Reliance on solid. A person who does not believe in himself, unsure of his position and actions, is a slave. He thinks and acts based on the empty - on lies and illusions. Therefore, it is no wonder that in business and life he constantly fails. You need to rely on what you have no doubt about. First of all, on the real one.
Step three. Fears are from immaturity. An adult, mature person (the “yellow” level of development according to the Spiral Dynamics) is not afraid of anything, since almost all fears are a consequence of infantile mental trauma. The consistent return of control over your thoughts and reactions frees you from neurotic behavior.
Step four. Naturalness is to be yourself. Life and business require the ability to establish connections with people (relatives, partners, clients, subordinates, etc.). It is much easier, more convenient and more effective to do this, not driving yourself into an artificial social role (from which it stinks of hypocrisy), but relying on the freedom of your living, natural manifestations.
Step five. Relying on intuition. Making an ideal decision requires an analysis of a huge number of factors, while consciousness is able to hold no more than 7 elements at a time. Therefore, many decisions made from the mind contain a bunch of potential mistakes. While developed intuition is able to prompt a way out of any, even the most confusing situation.
Step six. Conscious interests. In order to structure current activities and mobilize for action, you need to understand what is really important for you, what can lead you to your main goals and satisfy urgent needs. And, most importantly, you need to be able to fight for your interests. And this is possible when they are realized and clearly formulated.
Step seven. Conflict Management. Any development is always a solution to certain contradictions. And this process is always a conflict of varying degrees of intensity. The conflict is external or internal. Without successful resolution of such a conflict, the transition to a new level is impossible. But for this you need to understand the nature of the conflict and be able to use it in your interests.
If you look closely at your life, at your activities through the prism of this strategy, you will surely see weaknesses, real and potential mistakes, unused capacities and unused resources, that is, you will have what is called a "map update". And this new map will be much more adequate to reality than the previous one.
In fact, all these steps are interconnected and their separation is nothing more than a convention to facilitate perception. Real self-development, real personal growth, that is, the upbringing of a new, freer and more competitive personality, is a process of consistently increasing the degree of adequacy (or the degree of awareness), strengthening intuition and pumping inner strength, decisiveness, and self-confidence. All that brings a person to a higher level of development.
And all these 7 steps (as well as a lot of other nuances and details) are aimed at making this process as effective as possible. And to apply them consistently, together or in some other way depends on specific individual factors. However, I leave the questions of personal practice to your discretion. I am sure that you will build it in the way that suits you.
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