Women's Self-esteem / Are There Enough Princes For Everyone, What To Do?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Self-esteem is the value that a person ascribes to himself or to certain qualities. The main evaluative category is personal meaning, which each brings to his formation. The support basis for self-esteem of a person is the acceptance of the child by the parents, in the future it depends on the opinions of others, relatives and loved ones, as well as on their own work on the personality.

It is about the latter that I would like to talk about.

Client, 35 years old, Arina, was not married, has an interesting job, rushes into a relationship like on a scaffold, without thinking about her feelings, according to her:

Reviews of the potential groom are good from friends and she decides to give him a chance (or the watch has long reminded her that it's time to think about getting married and having a child).

Not understanding the chosen one, she hastily drives into his territory. The bachelor's den is not cozy, dirty, and even there are no curtains. During a period when other couples have a bouquet-flower relationship - romantic dates, calls or SMS, flowers, theaters, restaurants and love until dawn, and then, the agonizing expectation of the next date, when a date, like a holiday and during this period is laid the foundation of the future couple, Arina skillfully, like a wife, washes and cleans the mansion of her chosen one and, of course, she needs bonuses. The apartment is washed, everything is bought for comfort and interior - curtains, towels and clean socks, then pies and dinners, massage and does not pay attention to sexual incompatibility (if I say how much and how I need it, he will, of course, try).

The romance happened in the form of a trip to Spain, but after which, the beloved said that there was no money and you could take a loan (he would pay off). The honey period was short and does not even remain in the client's memory.

A smile, communication, delicious dinners, attempts to cheer him up, understand him, talk to him and the client's concern do not find the proper response, and after a while she begins to build / educate him (irritates all his actions / and their absence too, his smell is disgusting, his appearance, clothes do not correspond to her ideas of elegance, his salary does not fit into her understanding, his habits are enraged, his relatives suck, his friends are morons and drunks, he does nothing in the house, lazy, stubborn, silent and in sex completely incapable of giving her pleasure). What is he doing? Drinks, sleeps on the couch, moves away, refuses sex and stops talking. He created all the conditions for her to move out, he did not even scandal. He only noted that his life had become like life in a barracks.

When asked, the client wanted to learn how to calmly respond to the behavior (inaction) of the roommate. A week later, the request changed: leave this relationship. During the session: she moves away from the man. All subsequent sessions: about what a wonderful man, how it hurts me.

Every woman dreams of a prince (the standard is the appearance of William Bradley Pitt, income like William Henry Gates / Bill Gates, sexuality above average, caring for children, kind, generous and loyal and considerate), probably due to the fact that in life she perceives yourself, if not a queen, then at least a princess.

Dreaming is great. But we live in reality, we would like the person to set a goal, to solve specific tasks and achieve them, to receive confirmation / improvement of their self-esteem, understanding adequately their capabilities.

Unsuccessful relationships make a woman doubt her worth and her worth. To many of my clients, the first thought comes to mind: I WILL REVEnge (here and pain, resentment, annoyance, regret, a cry of helplessness and understanding that everything is over).

It is extremely beautiful to take revenge by increasing your self-esteem, you can by action:

• learn a foreign language - your thoughts will be occupied with new knowledge, there is no need to think and relive the past;
• earn as much as he never dreamed of - plunge into work, become a professional and reach new career heights, from new positions you are unlikely to be interested in the man who did not appreciate you in the past, completely different men will be waiting here;
• lose weight, as much as he lacked for your perfection, and then slim and light, flutter into your interesting life without him, where in your new environment will there be time to remember his beer belly?;
• jump from a parachute, an extreme that will instantly dispel doubts about the correctness of your actions, at least take a ride on a carousel - also useful;

• go to the country of your dreams, where the smell of wanderings calls you, enjoy new impressions and new acquaintances;
• learn to dance, body movements displace any thoughts, and good physical activity gives grace and grace, it does not matter rock and roll, salsa, tango;
• write a book about what lives in your head, release all dragons and cute animals, Harry Potter - everyone has, only you have not thought about it;
• create your own business, become a business woman, wealth is the best way to believe that you can afford everything or almost everything;
• find a man next to whom you will be happy!