2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Almost all of our modern society is, to one degree or another, built on a sense of guilt. Men and women are equally bad internally tolerate this feeling.
A man, when he sincerely believes that he is guilty, becomes very vulnerable to accusations from outside. While conducting an internal dialogue with himself, he will reproach himself and tell himself that he acted wrong, that he is to blame for what happened, blame himself for the possible consequences, while giving them a catastrophic magnitude. If at this moment you approach him and say that he is really insignificant, then this can very simply finish him off, he will finally believe in his guilt. Therefore, it is extremely dangerous for a man to feel guilt.
Women have a different story. In a similar situation, when a woman is engaged in blaming herself, she can really bring herself up, scolding herself and pointing out her mistakes, internally the woman is very worried. But if at such a moment someone tries to point out or confirm to the woman her guilt, the situation will change immediately. The response to such a statement will most likely be a manifestation of aggression, even if it is not immediately expressed openly. In most cases, a woman will deliberately go, in such a situation, to a scandal. Women do not perceive external accusations (she can blame herself and blame, but she will not allow anyone else to do this), at such moments, and will defend themselves, and the best defense is attack. A scandal, in this case, is a way for a woman to throw out her guilt and discharge herself emotionally. For a woman, this is a kind of medicine that allows her to experience inner feelings of guilt.
When a man comes to a group of friends and begins to tell where and how he blundered, in the overwhelming majority of cases he receives support. "Yes, okay, you will break through!" “Everything will work out”, “It’s okay, don’t bother yourself”, “We will help if that” such phrases are most often heard by a man from people like him. In other words, he sees that they are not trying to drown him, even without pulling him out.
When he turns to a woman with the same story, some of the fair sex begin to put pressure on him. Sincerely believing that a scandal is a medicine, they are trying to “cure” a man with it. The picture turns out like this - you are frozen, you are very cold, now we will take you out into the cold, and there -30 °C, and you will feel better. And the reproaches begin, "Well, I told you so," "It's my own fault," "And who asked you." In other words, they finish off the man. However, they believe that they are doing exactly the right thing. In fact, such "treatment" can only aggravate the situation. As in the saying about what is good for a Russian, it can bring death to a German. The man is even more convinced of his guilt, he does not have the energy to do something, because there is no support. And since it is very difficult and unpleasant to endure this feeling of guilt all the time, the man begins to look for a way out in alcohol, drugs, etc. Perhaps even the man's unconscious departure into illness. Accordingly, treating men's feelings of guilt with scandals, a woman not only fails to achieve the goal, but also complicates life for herself and for a man.
It's never too late to change your attitude to certain life situations and try to understand the other, the main thing is to understand that a man and a woman, although different, are necessary for each other.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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