2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, the word "codependency", which was once a purely psychological term, is increasingly used in everyday communication. Initially, it was associated with people whose partners or relatives are in alcohol, drug or other addiction, but this phenomenon is associated not so much with bad habits, but with the psychological state of a person.
Recently, it has begun to be discovered that codependency is a very frequent and almost ubiquitous phenomenon.
Of course, people in a couple depend on each other, but this dependence may be excessive, or it may not be enough. In a relationship, partners exchange something with each other, but there are aspects of oneself that must be given, and there are aspects that cannot be given. Understanding this difference is necessary in order to be aware of what is happening between you and how it helps to strengthen their connection in the present and in the future.
What is the difference between a woman's position in healthy and codependent relationships?
In this context, we will use the phrase "mature woman" to summarize the personality traits of a psychologically mature, adult, knowledgeable, experienced woman.
A mature woman has self-esteem and considers herself valuable. A codependent woman is not sure of her worth and dignity and needs a man to constantly confirm them for her with his love.
A mature woman knows how to protect herself from the hardships of life on her own. She knows how to solve problems, ask for help, contact with different people. A codependent woman needs a man to protect her because she doesn't feel able to do it on her own.
A mature woman feels comfortable alone and can live quite harmoniously alone, without losing the feeling of fullness and meaningfulness of her life. A codependent woman cannot be alone and does not feel the meaning of her life if she is not in a relationship.
A mature woman knows how to support and comfort herself. A codependent woman needs a man to support and comfort her in a difficult situation.
When a man shows disrespectful behavior, ignores her, or behaves unworthily, the mature woman distances herself from the man. She becomes less accessible and directs her attention to other men or to activities that are interesting to her. A codependent woman believes that love should be unconditional, and stays close, continuing to give the man her warmth, time and attention, hoping that her kindness will be appreciated and the man will change.
A mature woman knows what is interesting to her, has hobbies, girlfriends and strives to develop. A codependent woman gives her life to a man and leaves no interests for herself, except for family relationships.
A mature woman, while remaining part of the family, has her own personal space, which is inviolable. A codependent woman has a common email account with her husband, a computer, a password for pages on a social network, a social circle, ways to relax … It gradually becomes difficult to discern the difference in opinions, tastes, thoughts, desires, to understand who should own the time, the right to choose.
A mature woman knows how to feel well what she wants, what suits her and what she likes. A codependent woman has difficulty choosing things and needs advice from a man, mom, friend, or someone else before making a decision.
A mature woman knows how to enjoy simple things, as well as aesthetically enjoy art and beauty. A codependent woman can enjoy life and understand that there is “happiness” only when she is next to a man who loves her.
A mature woman always finds time to take care of herself, her beauty and health. A codependent woman constantly cannot find time for herself because of work, home, children, and other matters.
A mature woman knows how much and what kind of attention she needs from a man, knows how to negotiate with him and calmly refers to the fact that a man has his own friends and interests. The codependent woman wants all the attention and all the time of the man only for herself and requires that he give up friends and dangerous hobbies.
A mature woman knows how to calmly tell her man that she feels disagreement with his behavior or discomfort in a relationship. The codependent woman tries not to spoil the relationship with conflicts and does not pay attention to her internal signals.
A mature woman never nags her partner. She either supports him in his endeavors, or simply disappears from his life. A codependent woman throws tantrums and chastises the man for not being what she needs, pushing on her guilt, while not changing her behavior towards him in any way.
A mature woman expresses her needs and desires, giving the man the freedom to fulfill them or not to fulfill them. She knows where the line of what is unacceptable for her lies, and knows how to appreciate the most important thing - depth and warmth in a relationship. A codependent woman makes demands and grievances, complains and whines, and views a man as a poorly functioning tool for fulfilling her desires.
A mature woman is not offended by her partner. She openly expresses her wishes and disagreements. A codependent woman accumulates grievances for unfulfilled dreams and eventually closes her heart to men.
A mature woman knows how to admire her partner and respect him for the good that is in him, allowing him to be imperfect in something. A codependent woman idealizes her partner and expects him to solve all problems, especially in crisis situations.
A mature woman stays in a relationship because she knows she has chosen her man. A codependent woman remains because she experiences a strong fear of being left alone, and it seems to her that she will not find more men for herself.
A mature woman cares for her partner out of love, but continues to feel free. A codependent woman cares for fear of losing him and willingly gives him her freedom, because she still does not know what to do with her.
What kind of woman are you?
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