Are We Being Taught To Love Ourselves?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Are we being taught to love ourselves?

Many will probably say no. Someone will think about selfishness, which is common and has nothing to do with self-love.

I meet people, and according to their lives it is difficult to say where the "education" of love for oneself was violated. On the surface, they have great inputs: loving, caring, and supportive parents; excellent appearance; respect for other people; a certain recognition of merit. In general, what most often people lack for a sense of their worth. But something, somewhere went wrong, and at the moment when, out of love for themselves, they need to perform some action, they forget about themselves.

What drives them?

We are created a false belief when they say:

• If you eat 2 tablespoons of porridge, mom will be very happy. You will grow up healthy.
• Show that you are a good son, put your toys down.
• If you love me and want to do me well, wash the floors.
• If you finish school well, we will give you a bicycle.
• If you study perfectly well, then you will be respected and children will be friends with you.
• If you get a higher education, you will get a good job with a high salary.
• If you think about others, you will not be selfish, everyone will want to communicate with you.

There are as many similar phrases as there are families and children in them. I think everyone will remember their "if - phrases." Please share them in the comments.

The bottom line is that these statements are guidelines for the future. Children begin to live what will happen when they fulfill the conditions. After reaching the goal, children receive a portion of love and recognition. They are not taught to love themselves here and now.

As a result, we learn to do something in order to …

Thus, we build the following belief:

To deserve love, the status “I am good”, praise and recognition, and in general the understanding that I am and this is already a thrill for my parents, teachers, friends, lovers and children, we need to prove it with something.

Therefore, it is very difficult to love yourself without the fact that “I am a fine fellow, I ate well,” and to be happy now, at this moment (which is real life). This is where the first manifestation of dislike begins, I am unworthy, I am not valuable enough, etc. It also begins with the fact that we transfer our love of ourselves into the hands of others. Since comments, criticism, recognition, compliments of persons significant to us strengthen or weaken our selfishness.

How to motivate a child and a person to take action? Communicate the importance. Yes, it is important to study well, it helps in work, but it does not guarantee a good job. After all, the most dangerous thing about false beliefs is the fact that when a person reaches a goal, he does not always get what he was promised. He tries even harder, but there is no exhaust. And there are many examples of this. It is enough to remember about "good boys and girls", about exemplary children, about diligent workers, about excellent students (they are not all in good jobs with high salaries).

It turns out that parents and teachers cheated? But what about now?

1. They did not deceive, but tried to motivate.
2. Learn to love yourself, regardless of your actions and deeds. You are the most important asset in your life.