Children Protection Day

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Now there is a lot of talk about the increased crime against children, about the increased incidence of violence against minors, about aggressive behavior among peers. We parents freeze in horror every time we read another terrible news. The primary panic is followed by the question - what to do, how to protect it? And we teach not to talk to strangers. We accompany the children to schools ourselves or hire nannies and governesses. We provide children with mobile phones to be able to control their independent movements. We are trying to influence the friendly environment of children and their hobbies and hobbies.

What else is worth paying attention to? No parent, no matter what material means he possesses, is able to create an invisible and durable cap of universal protection over his precious child. At least not currently possible. Who knows, maybe in the future, moms and dads will choose a suitable model of such a hood, consulting the seller and reading reviews, just as we now assess the safety of car seats.

Then who will protect my child now? One of the options that does not immediately come to mind is himself. How? Let's think together.

Unfortunately, children often agree to violence themselves, without offering any resistance at all. Why does the child obediently follow the requests or orders of the adult? Because there is an unspoken, unshakable authority of an adult.

Excluding those cases when the child is grabbed and carried away in an unknown direction, there are those episodes when the children themselves agree to leave with a stranger. How to influence the child's decision?

Determine the boundaries of what is permitted. Violence is different, physical, sexual, emotional. Teach children to define the boundaries of acceptable treatment. Help your child to outline his personal space in which he will only let the elite. Only the one whom he himself decides to call such. Moreover, it is the parents who will have to first of all observe these boundaries in order for them to gain a foothold. Respect the integrity of the baby's body and soul. The “do no harm” rule is universal. Caress, tenderness, understanding, care. Any child is ready for such an impact of the world. Having learned from the parents severity, despotism, violence, the child will be ready to accept these gifts from society in the future. Simply because he has already been trained to be a victim.

Eliminate harmful installations … If, being overly angry, we could not restrain ourselves and gave a slap on the butt, thus, we passed on to the child confident knowledge (after all, the baby believes mom and dad 100%) - "You can beat me." Since mom and dad are the prototype of the world in general, a slap means “Everyone can beat”. Moreover, often the child is forbidden to cry and object to the punishment. After all, the parent is instantly seized by a feeling of guilt, and he is in a hurry to silence the direct witness of his "puncture" and the victim in one person. This is another very harmful lesson learned with family members at home - "Keep quiet if you are offended."

Be open to communication. Allowing to talk about feelings, to encourage the frankness of a child in every possible way is not only a necessary condition for his normal development, it is one of the ways to defend his “I”, his safety. The parents' willingness to listen creates in the child a sense of their significance, importance, and most importantly, the knowledge that they will understand him. Thus, you teach how to seek help from adults if another adult or child decides to offend your little one.

An example from life practice: In kindergarten, instead of sleeping, a girl played with a doll and sang a lullaby to her loudly. The teacher, after two remarks, punished the girl. She put it under the open window, barefoot on the tile, and it was in winter. How awful, you say. Yes, it really is horror. Moreover, the girl did not tell her mother anything, and "silently" fell ill with a sore throat. Why didn't she? Her mother used a similar punishment at home - "stand in a corner and think about your behavior." The girl's natural reaction to the guard duty under the window on the order of the teacher was obedience. She knew that she had to stand and think about her behavior, since she was guilty. Only after becoming an adult, somehow chatting with her mother, the girl suddenly remembered that incident. Mom was shocked. She remembers well how her daughter in the preparatory group unexpectedly fell ill with a sore throat.

- Why didn't you tell me anything ?!

There was so much confusion and surprise in the mother's exclamation. The girl thought about it, and then replied:

“I don’t know… I thought it was necessary.

Each educational institution, be it a kindergarten, school or institute, has its own internal rules. So, it is very important that they do not run counter to the safety rules of the individual. And who will keep track of whether these boundaries have been violated? Only the child himself. A girl or a boy should clearly know what is possible for an adult and what is not.

Encourage self-reliance. If parents are used to deciding too much for the child, this sometimes leads to excessive passivity and indecision. It so happens that a mother, in a categorical voice, commands what to wear for a child to visit relatives. In this case, the order to the kid, who is used to obeying, to take off his clothes, even if other adults will be accepted humbly. After all, "this is how it should be." If the family has a habit of discussing decisions, making compromises, then there is a chance that exceptional obedience and timidity will not necessarily be reproduced in a dangerous situation. Therefore, it makes sense to encourage the habit of insisting on one's own within reasonable limits.

If the kid wants to go to the skating rink in winter in a panama hat, then, of course, it is worth objecting. And if someone gets sick, then going to the cinema with the whole family will not take place - give arguments. But if the choice is mittens or gloves, yellow or red, please let the child choose. And even if for your taste, he is not dressed impeccably, the main thing is that the baby understands that he has the right to decide and choose what he likes and what does not.

Learn to defend yourself. If you find out that your child has been beaten, humiliated or unfairly scolded, discuss the incident with him. Listen without interrupting. Be sure to thank your child for their trust and candor. Try to contain your anger and terror, and then act. Most often it makes sense to take the above. If the boys beat their son, contact their parents. If the teacher chose your daughter for public ridicule, go to the principal. Show courage and perseverance, because it is about the most precious thing you have. And then tell the offended what you did to protect him. Teach him how to fight, gaining respect for himself even in a difficult situation when personal boundaries have been violated.

Allow to make noise and shout. Imagine that children are too well mannered to cry out for help in a dangerous situation. They were always told "quieter"! Many adults, during a psychological experiment, when they need to shout loudly, are simply shy and desperately hoarse, instead of giving free rein to their voice. Since childhood, they are not used to making noise and talking loudly. Therefore, parents can try to find a middle ground when the baby does not scream at the door of a sleeping grandmother. And at the same time, he will be able to make enough noise if a stranger takes his hand and drags him in an unknown direction.

Encourage physical activity. It will seem frivolous to you if you also talk about sports training. But this is important! A child who owns his body and is used to constantly working on himself has a better chance of fighting off attackers, simply because he believes in his strength. Sometimes this confidence surpasses the real possibilities, but the main thing is it is! Remember how dad gave in during the struggle, and the son proudly triumphed that he could put his invincible father on his shoulder blades. This is better than when the kid is sure that dad is an invincible black cloud, which is easier to obey than to argue.

Allow aggression to be. It is important to give the right outlet for aggression. Allow the pillow to bite and bite when the child is very angry. You can't pinch your neighbor on the desk, but you can kick the ball harder. Thus, the body remembers important information - aggression can be shown. Running fast, screaming loudly and sometimes disobeying - these skills are sometimes so necessary for a child for self-defense in the future.

Keep emotional contact with children. This is a difficult moment when insidious adults manipulate on the weaknesses of babies, on their desire to get a bright novelty. Of course, this does not mean at all that it is necessary to immediately implement any whim ahead of the hypothetical seducer. Buy a puppy, the villain will offer fish or an airplane. Children are adorable because of their gullibility, and at the same time, they are so vulnerable because of it.

Love, love your child endlessly. Why do children go for sweets, for kittens, for iPhones? Objects are more loved by those who lack the love of people. Parents can lessen this dependence a little, only by placing themselves at the disposal of their children. More attention to your childish person in the family - less thirst for new sensations in the company of strangers.

Warn, but don't overdo it. Do not intimidate, so you can achieve an unnecessary result - to harm the psyche without any benefit for knowledge. Perhaps you can try to make it clear the limited value of things. In other words, this is not a super iPhone, it's just an iPhone that you can play, but you can also play with dolls and the railroad. You can try to teach your child to love what he already has, instead of constantly chasing a new toy. It is not easy even for us adults to stop and appreciate what we have, but you have to try. Yes, the tablet, in a sense, gives parents freedom, taking the child-why into the virtual world. And he sits quietly for himself, entertains himself. Try to set aside at least 20 minutes a day to talk to your child, you will see the result!

Careful with miracles. It is in our power to teach that the child will be able to realize most of his desires sooner or later. This is another conversation about confidence. Want a car? Tell us everything you know about cars. Take it to the museum, draw the engine together. Explain the meaning of money and how you can make it. Then miracles become closer, clearer and no less attractive, by the way. But the willingness to take something from the wrong hands becomes a little weaker. After all, he can get it himself, if necessary!

Yes, without fairy tales, what a childhood! And we talk about Santa Claus, about the tooth fairy, and the kids, holding their breath, unconditionally believe us. And there are, after all, heartless people who use this mythical platform, so understandable to children, in order to take a child away from the rainbow jungle. Here, each parent should think to what extent and how the children's fantasy world can dock with the sometimes cruel realities of the adult universe.