2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
To be different: difficult and risky task, both in different historical periods and in the modern world (although, it would seem, when, if not now, to develop your individuality).
It seems that there will never be a suitable time for this, the readiness must be inside, and not in time and space.
1. There is no special time
I would like, of course, to know when it will be possible to relax and be sincere and honest in front of others and life itself. It may not be there, you may not wait for it, so you have to take risks every day and with every person, you can even say - with every word spoken and gesture made.
2. There is no special place
Yes, of course, there are certain professional groups and communities, therapeutic and training groups, where it is easier and safer to show your otherness. But security lasts exactly as long as there is a resource for this in this particular association of people, at this particular time.
Therefore, for all your sincerity, openness and trust, this group of people may not be ready to accept you or not ready to support you in this particular state. Therefore, it is extremely important to have a backup option of support and support, including your own.
3. There are special people
These are our loved ones, relatives, beloved people. But they can also fail. People remain people, no matter how close and trusted they are. They get sick, get tired, go about their business and problems, have their own joys and hobbies, there are times when they do not want to see anyone and even go crazy …
Despite all this, there are periods when they understand and accept you so much that you understand that there was no such closeness and understanding with anyone else, and maybe never will be.
The closer a person is, the more difficult and painful it is to lose his location, attention, time, space and communication with him. Sometimes there are circumstances that do not depend on us, but we acutely feel the absence of this person and our helplessness in changing circumstances.
An example, although not very pleasant, but real, from life. A loved one lies unconscious, in a coma. You do not know whether he will regain consciousness or not, remember you or not, remember your relationship, whether he will be the same as before, and what your relationship will be.
Of course, you may free up a lot of time or, on the contrary, the sphere of responsibility will be redistributed not in your favor. If time is all freed, then it is not a fact that you do not waste it on caring and worrying about this person, and all your thoughts and feelings are devoted to him and your relationship. At such moments, you yourself need support, but you look around and understand that you would only turn to him, and if, of course, you do not want to drive yourself into despondency at all, then you still need to turn to other people.
One of the most difficult experiences is the feeling of loneliness and loss, connected also with the fact that this person understood you much better than everyone else. Words, thoughts, ideas freeze in the air, there is no one to share with them, and even if there are, there are no those who will understand their depth and subtlety. And in such loneliness it seems that you yourself are going crazy.
The best way out in this period, with the least loss, if I may say so, is a visit to a psychologist to receive support, accept and activate the necessary resources.
4. There are no special criteria and there are no guarantees that the time will come when they will finally understand and accept this
You are different with each individual person, so there are no special criteria for how you need to be - just as there are no special criteria for how you need to be with you. Each person is unique, but each person remains a person with all human desires and needs. Even if you clearly and clearly tell another loved one about what you need, it is not a fact that he has the resources and abilities to meet your expectations. They may not exist now or not exist at all, and if they do not exist, you may spend a lot of your energy in desperate attempts to get what you need.
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