2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently I witnessed an unusual scene in which three people participated: dad, daughter and a dinosaur. In a children's amusement park, a six-year-old girl was sitting astride a dinosaur that roared and shook madly. The little girl burst into laughter and completely ignored the control panel - she liked a wild dinosaur.
However, the most interesting thing was to watch the Pope. He ran around the attraction and shouted:
- Tame him! Well, do something! He shouldn't growl!
- Dad, - the girl answered in surprise, - this dinosaur is a predator, and it is wild, do you understand? He must growl.
It seemed that the Pope himself had a very difficult relationship with his anger, and it is unlikely that he generally admits to himself the right to be angry, which means that no one in his picture of the world has the right to do so.
- Dad, let's roar with him! What if you like it? - suggested the girl, and I just gasped. The baby acted like an experienced psychologist.
- No! And don't be silly!
- Why? Your cough is gone.
- He's mad! Can not you see? I don't want to be like him. Good people shouldn't be angry! - Dad began to get excited, confirming my guesses.
Without waiting for the dinosaur to turn off, he jerked off his daughter and began to scold her for dirtying her jacket somewhere.
Unfortunately, many live for years suppressing a completely normal human emotion - anger. And now there is so much inside this compressed anger, addressed to real offenders from the past, that there is no strength to keep it, and it breaks out, forcing a person to be afraid of sudden outbursts of anger and punish himself for them - as parents once punished … Because our Inner parent - a copy of real parents or important adults for us.
But a person is not angry at all because he is bad! Anger is a normal reaction to resentment, a harsh invasion of boundaries, someone else's aggression. The habitual repression of anger is often a consequence of the fact that a person had powerful, suppressive parents who sought to "break" the child's will, make him obedient and comfortable, significantly limit his freedom, and suppressed attempts to express himself.
Many in childhood were punished not only for bad actions, but also for “bad” emotions, first of all, for manifestations of anger. While bad emotions do not exist in nature, they are all equally important to humans.
To stop getting annoyed over trifles, learn to defend our boundaries, get rid of many psychosomatic problems, you need to regain the right to experience all the emotions that nature has endowed us with.
To return, changing the image of the Inner Parent, in order to stop punishing oneself, and learn to forgive, support and accept unconditionally - to become the best Parent in the world and not to depend on anyone else's attitudes and rules, not to expect anyone's punishment or even anyone's praise. Huge resources are hidden in a person himself in order to feed himself with everything necessary, but often these resources are hidden from our eyes by limiting attitudes and prohibitions.
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