2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are three main ways that a person can express emotions (both negative and positive) - non-verbal, verbal, action. A non-verbal way of expressing emotions involves postures, facial expressions, emotions displayed on a person's face.
Quite often, we express our feelings and experiences in a non-verbal way (“I saw envy, jealousy, etc. on his face”). We read all the emotions of the people around us thanks to those parts of the brain that are responsible for empathy. Mirror neurons turn on, and a person roughly imagines what he would feel if there was such an emotion on his face.
However, this method also has a negative side - trying to express your emotion and putting on a seemingly obvious "emotional mask" on your face, you cannot be sure that the interlocutor will understand what is going on. For example, you may be angry and the person considers your gaze to be an expression of contempt and arrogance. Why? The thing is that while experiencing similar feelings, he himself has a similar facial expression!
Love and joy can also be expressed in different ways. Plus, men and women are used to showing these feelings in their own way. For men, these are more actions, and for women - warm and gentle conversations or some other non-verbal expression of emotions. Accordingly, against this background, a misunderstanding may arise in a pair. A man tries to earn more, brings home food, gives gifts, devotes all his free time to his beloved woman, but she just wanted to talk.
In principle, non-verbal ways of expressing emotions are quite good, but they do not give maximum effectiveness. Often, if a person is used to expressing his emotions in a non-verbal way, he has many problems in the relationship (the partner in most cases cannot guess his true desires). Basically, this tendency is typical for relationships that last less than 10 years, but there are couples who have lived together for more than 10 years and do not understand each other's reactions. Each of the partners feels that the second is trying to show something with his reaction, but he cannot figure out what exactly, therefore he closes in and tries to avoid contact. Accordingly, if a married couple has a repeated situation, loneliness occurs together, the partners disperse in the corners and close. Physically, people can be close to each other, but in fact, everyone hid inside their consciousness.
Actions / deeds
How to express feelings by actions? Everything is quite simple here - for example, to express anger, people fight, kick the surrounding objects, hang up, copy the behavior of others in relation to themselves ("You are late! Next time I will be late too, then you will stay in my place!"), hitting the pillow with their hands; when anxiety overwhelms, they do a general cleaning; experiencing joy, having fun on rides, etc.
However, this method is not very effective, because often a person still does not really understand what they wanted to say to him, therefore, he continues to act in the same direction.
Verbal way
In order to express your feelings in words, you need to understand your emotions well and be able to choose the necessary form.
As practice shows, everything that will not be expressed to the interlocutor will sooner or later become the cause of deep misunderstanding of the person. Try to choose such a form of communication and phrases that will not cause the person unbearable pain and resentment (“You know, if you don't wash your cup in the morning, I feel annoyed. It was customary in my family to always clean the kitchen before work, at least - there should be no dirty dishes. After each such act, I am disappointed in you! ). The process of human frustration cannot be avoided, but one should not be silent either.
Feelings of anger, sadness, longing, aggression, anger, rage, disappointment and sadness are easier to experience and always easier to express than tenderness, love and gratitude.
We were not taught to say "I love you!" me. I see that it is not easy and I appreciate every deed "…
Listen to yourself and take a closer look at your surroundings - how do you feel about yourself and other people? After all, you are not only experiencing feelings of anger, shame, guilt, or self-rejection. You are grateful to yourself, you feel tenderness and warmth.
To express your feelings correctly, you first need to learn to understand them. Ask yourself as often as possible during the day, "How do I feel now?" Print out a plate with a list of feelings and analyze your feelings in every free minute - do I now feel sadness, longing, sadness, joy, happiness, pleasure, discontent, indignation? This approach will help you understand emotions, learn to name them correctly. Then you need to move on to the next stage - to express feelings so as not to offend the person, but also not to pinch your feelings.
Communicate with people, talk about your feelings - yes, it will not be easy, but in no case be silent! For you, this will be a kind of personal training - a constant search for the right words and phrases, a form of expression of your emotions. Look deeply into your mind and ask yourself how you would like to express the joy of meeting with a loved one, anger in response to the act of a friend, annoyance for your wrong actions. When expressing feelings in words, do not limit yourself in actions - stamp your foot, jump, shout, swear, etc.
Remember: if you are expressing any emotion in a non-verbal way, this is the removal of affect. Be sure to then sit down and think about why so many feelings overwhelmed you? Speak, write down and say whatever you think to the person to whom this emotional flow is directed. In the future, you will respect yourself much more!
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