Family Management

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Before the birth of my first child, I often looked with envy at mothers who could easily afford to devote most of their time to family and children. On the other hand, I have never admitted that being in the position of a mother or wife, full-fledged self-realization and satisfaction from life is possible. I even sometimes felt sad in this direction, imagining myself in the role of a housewife and often reflected on the self-realization of bored mothers. And now a number of years have passed …

Recently, I often observe in the eyes of my husband a dumb question: "Can we still find you again a field for your hectic activities outside the family?" Apparently I overdid it a little with the functionality of a manager in a project called "my family and two children." I decided to sort out a little, and what, in principle, is happening.

The first thing I started with was an analysis of my husband's enthusiasm that, in an interesting way, many issues seem to be resolved by themselves at home: everything around is arguing, getting along and all the rear is covered. But who, no matter how I was, knew that everything was not so simple and by itself. From my side, this is a whole complex process, practically a business process, which is carried out during the day. Yeah, I thought, here he is the awakened leader. No, not a leader, but a leader, now I will explain why.

The leader leads, and the leader is engaged in the development of people next to him

Setting goals. I know perfectly well that if you set a task from the category - this is something that needs to be done, then something will be done. It is not at all a fact that this will be what was needed. Therefore, we set tasks at home according to SMART. That is, we designate what exactly, in what quantity, we check for reality and our controllability, we clearly define it in time. A correctly set task makes it possible to show the initiative and creativity of the performers.

Delegation … Sometimes the direct setting of tasks does not make sense, or rather strongly demotivates the head of the family, so the process of delegation goes into action. The task is not set, it is delegated, in other words, it is trusted. It is a key word in both family and business. My job is to give direction and determine the end result. There is no place for details - what and how to do is determined by the members of the family team. In this matter, they are again creators and initiators.

Feedback and control. Of course, after all delegated, set and well-performed tasks, a holiday or words of admiration is needed. Even better, words of support and positive assessment. In order for the flowers to grow, they must be watered. Nothing motivates as much as being noticed on time, words of gratitude and confidence in further success and advancement. As in business, in no case should the control function be overlooked, it always remains with the manager. Control points should be established to spread the straw in time, to take over the drop-down banner, or simply to reformulate the problem.

Time management. Oh, this is my discovery and find! I was able to learn this skill only as a mother of two children. Nothing improves personal efficiency like a half-hour nap just a few times a day! In this half hour, you need to be in time: wash the dishes, clean up a little, brush your teeth, drink coffee, clean up the chinchilla's cage, answer the mail, cook dinner with an ax, etc. Priorities! Here they are. Only in this extreme situation it becomes clear what is important and what can wait … a year or two. Today I can do everything in 25 minutes! And most importantly, I removed the significance and the excellent pupil syndrome; now I do all things easily and quickly.

Realizing that all of the above was brought by me from my office life, I thought that as a manager of this project I simply do not know and cannot do much yet. I went to the playground for knowledge. This was another discovery for me. That's where the valuable management staff is! Experienced mothers are not much different from men in suits and ties.

True team building. How do mothers manage to put together a team from a family?

As I watched them on set, I saw a natural inclination to develop and engage my team members. Have you seen how good moms explain to their kids why you shouldn't hit your friend in the sandbox with a spatula? How to share one bucket and a rake with him? Or the fact that it's time to go home, although you still really want to walk? Yes, they know how to cooperate and negotiate. They never use direct instructions and moralizing, they calm words, elementary non-material motivation (praise and faith in the baby) push them to certain actions. They negotiate with them, just spending not one second, but a couple of minutes on it. I immediately took this skill into my piggy bank.

Multitasking. My second admiration was the mothers who are capable of simultaneously explaining to the child what is good and what is bad, to calm down a crying offended enemy in the sandbox and at the same moment talk to dad on the phone, giving him valuable instructions on tasks for after work. I am sure that the same thing happens in the evening, when at the same time you need to put one to bed, check the lessons with the other, and find out from your dad how things went and still have time to discuss plans for the future at the family council. They know how to do this at the same time, since something has already been thought out, planned and prepared in advance. Thanks to this observation, I began to plan and think everything in advance.

Innovation. Considering all of the above multitasking, innovative solutions are difficult to do without. I also observed such decisions. For example, a way to prepare for lessons. When the elder reads verses aloud to the younger, and the younger gives marks and checks the dictation. Or, for example, a tracking and retention system. Long dog leash that can be extended up to 5 meters. This turned out to be a very convenient solution for hyperactive children who do not like being next to their mother in noisy and crowded places. With a leash, I decided to wait for now, but I really liked the idea of dictations.

Finishing the analysis and mastering of family management skills, I had a serious question - is this not professional development and personal growth? Oh-ho-ho! - I thought, what kind of growth and development, and also a way out of the comfort zone, where there are no options to choose from, and in any case it is necessary to go out.

The only thing, in all honesty, I really want to admit the following. I and, as I noticed, many other family managers in skirts, lack the ability to seize the moment here and now. After all, managers are people striving for a specific result, and the process and the ability to enjoy it are important in the family.

To catch every moment, to be in it, not to rush, to be able to catch and see and most importantly - to rejoice, enjoy what we have. After all, time will pass, and it will only remain in photographs and in memories. Isn't this moment the most important thing?