2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Anyone who is determined to make serious changes in life, to truly heal his trauma, to form a new worldview, attitudes and goals - always comes to personal psychotherapeutic work for a long time. Because in a quick way, at a time, two or even ten sessions - to begin to understand what I am immersed in and how to find a solution to the trauma - is impossible. It takes time for the resource to accumulate and the courage to face the difficult things that happened in life - betrayal, sexual violence, cruelty. It takes time for the courage to appear to agree with their roots and origins - the abuse or codependency that was in the parental family. It takes time for stability to develop to face your pain, trauma, and the truth that determined the fate of a person.
This is all the time, a year or two, in the case of sexual trauma - seven years. Because pain is removed layer by layer, step by step, a person goes to himself, through stereotypes and parental messages.
I have also been in personal work since the age of 19, with various psychotherapists and constellations. A good thought came to my mind: "If I want to be a psychologist and help others, can I help myself first?" I just do not understand how the difficult childhood that happened to me determined my whole destiny and had a tremendous impact on my whole personality, it was possible to find a solution in one or two times. It was such an unbearable and unbearable pain that for several years of psychotherapy I simply lay crushed by this suffering, coming to my senses, realizing that everything was over, that the terrible would not happen again. It took several more years to understand that now everything can be different, that I can live differently, that suffering is turned off. A few more years for the formation of a new worldview, new attitudes, a new understanding of my trauma and what I had to go through when I was just a child. And then, in my field, the process of searching for strength, life and movement forward, the implementation of my (and not parental or ancestral) tasks, the living of a personal scenario (and not parental or generic) started.
True, I do not understand those who complain about "bad" psychologists, are outraged that they went to a session twice or did as many as 5 constellations, but there are still no millions, but a normal man ran away again and so on?
Personally, I went through two years of group psychotherapy, three years of personal psychotherapy, seven years of deep work with different constellations. And yes, I paid money for everything, even when I was a student, I saved from the scholarship. It was incredibly painful and hard, somewhere I was walking, somewhere I was crawling, somewhere I was just lying in the direction of the result. But this is my path, to new meanings and values, to new understanding, to new goals in life (which did not even occur to me then), to new successes. There is strength for new books, for new ideas, for new plans.
For many, at the age of 30-40, everything is monotonous in life - the ancestral funnel of suffering won and sucked in, the parental covenant “sit with us, and do not live your life” worked.
But if you really want to do something serious and good for yourself, for example, start living YOUR life, it is important to tune in to painstaking inner work, to be able to ask for help from others, to understand that it will not be easy and simple, because it hurts yours soul, but it is still in the dark, and it takes time for it to have the strength to come out into the light.
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