2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I have been engaged in personal development somewhere since 2010, and somehow I sat down and decided to collect in one place all my pink illusions that I found in the process of this very personal development.
So, the illusions about personal development, destroyed over the years of personal development.
1. Reading books (watching videos) is equal to development
Not equal at all and never. This illusion very quickly shattered into pieces, as soon as I got to my first training in my life. There I realized a thing that was essentially banal: you can re-read a bunch of books on how to make shots, but when you start doing it for shots, it turns out that what you read does not help much. And it doesn't help at all. And sometimes it gets in the way. Knowledge without skills is a dead weight.
I see around me a sea of people who sit watching hours of video on YouTube, and pathetically declare that it is they who develop this way. Then the series should be equated with development, or something.
My opinion. To develop, you need at least good trainings (provided that a person will apply the acquired skills in life), as a maximum - regular work with a psychologist, coach, consultant, etc.
Well, and you need to do something in the direction of what you want. Without this, there is no way at all. Because if there is no desire to do something in real life, then neither trainings nor books will help. Unless they help you avoid real life.
2. If you go to trainings on personal development, then you no longer need to work personally
This was the hardest part. Well, it is not spelled out in our culture that emotions and intelligence are worth investing in them (read - go to a coach, psychologist, consultant). That not only you need to go to the dentist regularly, that you should also go to the specialists of the helping professions. At least if you want to improve the quality of life and some results.
And here the knowledge and skills gained during the trainings begin to play the role of an anchor that pulls down. A person thinks: well, I'm smart, I know so much and can do so much, why would I go and pay money for what I can do myself? It is illogical. Moreover, I have already spent money on trainings. Why am I still going to spend them on a psychologist or a coach?
3. There is some kind of mega-insight, which is enough to find, and everything in life will become simple
Such a persistent illusion, and it seems that not only me. Human life consists of many aspects and many stages of development. Yes, sometimes it happens that a person worked and worked, and then a mega-breakthrough occurred during some meditation. But here we see only a mega-breakthrough in meditation and do not see how much he did BEFORE this breakthrough. In general, over the past three years, I had so many of these mega-insights that I was already confused. That one has not yet been found. Although who knows)
4. If you work a lot on yourself, then childhood is somehow itself
When they told me about three years ago about working with children's units, about childhood traumas and traumas in general, I looked with glassy eyes and thought something like “What the hell? I am a serious adult here, a lot of trainings behind me, I know so much and can do so much - well, what are some children's parts to me? Since then, I have changed my opinion about the children's parts very much, which I constantly write about in my posts. There is no need to be afraid of your childhood experience - with the right approach, it is not as scary as it seems. Although it is also not worth sticking to years of psychotherapy - now life is very dynamic, there is no time for that.
Such a moment. If a person has unprocessed children's questions, then numerous knowledge on the topic does not so much help to work it out as it helps to set up even more defenses (so that the person never gets to that very painful childhood experience with which, oh, oh, how you don't want to come into contact).
five. There are people who can do everything easily and simply, and someday it will be so - all that remains is to go through this training
When it seems to us that everything is easy and simple for someone, we usually see some part of a person's strategy, and do not see what he is doing to make it easy and simple. Everyone has difficulties. Everyone has fears. Everyone has blocks. It's just that everyone has their own, unique. That is, the question that should be asked here is approximately the following: “What does this person do that makes it so easy for him? How can I apply this in my life?"
About trainings. Yes, they give good skills (provided that the training is of high quality), but one should hardly expect miracles here. Skills are skills. They need to be applied, by the way, in life. There is such magic - magic of action. If you want concrete results in life, then the magic of action is it. I somehow stopped believing in the magic of trainings. I have so.
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