2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Falling in love is far from the concept of mature love. What we see around us: conflicts, divorces, reproaches, resentments, the use of each other - all these are attributes of love. There are two conditions for the emergence of mature love that comes into the life of a couple through a crisis
Condition 1: A man must be emotionally free from his mother. And this means that you feel that for him you are in the first place, and his mother is in the second, that he can protect you from her, stop her when necessary, set her boundaries of what is permissible, through which she will not dare to cross, that he deliberately will not allow herself to be manipulated nor by you. At the same time, he does not conflict with his mother, but he also does not let her close to his family, does not complain to her about you, does not chat with her for hours on the phone. He knows how to clearly and firmly say the word no to his mother, and at the same time does not fall into guilt, does not worship her as a deity, but he will not allow himself to be controlled and manipulated either. And next to him, you do not have the feeling that you are his mother - and this is the most important thing that a woman should rely on - not to be his mother and to see how much a man is able not to make indirect requests to a woman's maternal function: "where are my socks ? ".
Condition 2: A woman must be free from the attitude that she is inferior without a man. Such a woman will not be afraid of losing marriage, will not allow a man to control herself by manipulating on fear of losing a relationship, she will not be ashamed and embarrassed that everyone around is married (no matter how they are there), and she is lonely, she will not look for a man herself, fearing that she will remain forever alone and will not be able to feed herself and her children. She will not rush at the first person she meets with the thought: oh, what if I’m alone, there’s not enough for all the men. This woman is not afraid of divorce. And most women are trained for mature love, through divorce, just through the stage of a single life. Such a woman will feel equally good regardless of whether there is a man next to her or not. She has self-respect. Only such a woman is capable of mature love without codependency.
What is mature love for you?
(c) Yulia Latunenko
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