2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
First you wear it under your heart, then you give birth in agony, sleepless nights, the first smile, the first words, the first steps.
Then the kindergarten grew up a little. Adaptation, crisis of three years. You run around like a madman, trying to do everything in time. Then school. Lessons, fights, poor grades, alcohol, cigarettes, girls.
Obstinate, silent, shaves, has grown a lot, looks askance, and you are no longer an authority. Graduation and dawn. The Institute comes home less and less. First part-time job, your own money. Sometimes drunk, hugging less and less.
You look at him - he is still he, it seems that he has not grown, it seems quite a baby, but this is not so. He has matured for a long time. And you have become older and wiser. And how is it so fast? You're not ready at all.
From the word ALL!
And if you cannot accept your age, if you did not invest in your development and you have nothing to do at all, then the trouble is. As they say, "I lived as children."
All connections with her husband may be lost and it is not even clear what to communicate about now. And why is it actually needed? And does he need you? (But this is a completely different part of the story.)
Everything is unclear and very, very scary. And it's easier, of course, to start hurting or blaming the children, they say they are ungrateful. You can start a divorce, then they definitely will not leave. Or complain about your husband and cry softly (or loudly). Or you can take great care and not give room, feed, dress, control. Can! Especially if your mother did the same.
And you can try in a different way. As my child therapy coach used to say: "The main task of a parent is to separate the child from himself." It's important to try. You might like it. This is a completely new feeling. When the children have grown up and already live separately. There is a lot of time. You can do everything in the world. Draw, dance, master a new profession, go on a trip, learn a new language, make interesting acquaintances. Experience a second youth. I remember the wonderful movie "Eat. Pray. Love". Try to live the moments of life, immerse yourself, seek …
You're free! No more fussing, going to meetings, or even cooking! Of course, you will support and console, if necessary. But still free! And the more interest in life, the more pleasure.
And the fear that it seems that life is over. This is a difficult time for a woman. The results are summed up and you have great value in your luggage! The main thing is to realize this. Motherhood! You are enriched with everything that was. You will forever remain the mother that gave Life. It's just a different stage in your life now. The time has come to turn again to Himself and to the World. And your children are part of you and this world. One of the tasks has been completed.
Welcome to a new reality! As in the matrix. You can choose one pill and you will forever be tied with threads to your children, confused. Or get out of symbiosis and let them float freely. Let sometimes at the cost of pain, realizing their own and their separateness. Meeting periodically, going out together, or arranging home gatherings. It is important to remain good friends.
I want to support women who are faced with the departure of their chicks from the nest. Remember that you are a woman first and then everything else. And besides being a mother, there are many other roles. And nobody canceled the spiritual path. We are here to have each of our own experiences, not to be bound forever. We come alone into this world, the mother brings us out into the light and in due time lets go (must let go), for our own sake, for her own sake. Our connection with our children is deep and continuous. Don't keep them for too long.
The relationship of people is Akin to sand lying in the palm of your hand.
As long as it lies in your hand Open and free - you will not drop the Grains of Sand on the ground.
It is worth squeezing your hand, How it will seep through your fingers …
There is no way to hold all the sand, Perhaps a little, but much will not be possible.
Most of them wake up, alas, no matter how hard you try to clamp harder.
And the seams of the relationship will come apart until you get smarter. …..
Do not try to oppress loved ones
Chasing your own selfishness.
Hurry to realize this wisdom
As long as the sand lies in your palm. - from the Internet.
If it is difficult to survive this period, come to consultations for support. Discover new facets of your life.
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