2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The path to discovering the strength and sources of positive change in yourself is through suffering. As long as we run away from suffering and do not have the strength and courage to look at the root of all our problems and sufferings, until then our life will be like a struggle with windmills, which does not radically change and does not bring joy and positiveness
How to heal through suffering and open up the strength and sources for positive changes in life?
Every person has a period in their life called a crisis.
When there is no satisfaction with oneself, there is no satisfaction in relationships or work. Sometimes this state of dissatisfaction encompasses one area, for example, only realization at work, sometimes dissatisfaction extends to the sphere of personal relationships, and sometimes dissatisfaction captures all areas of life and a person feels great depression and great dissatisfaction with himself. If dissatisfaction captures all areas of life or the most important for a person.
If he could not achieve the desired results, then the person may feel great depression, often associated with a feeling of internal paralysis and the inability to change anything.
Paralysis is born from great disappointment, from a feeling of helplessness and the ability to influence the situation, from unjustified expectations and unfulfilled ambitions. This condition can poison a person's life, and it can also be a healing force for him, a source of his positive changes.
What distinguishes poison from medicine is its quantity. If a person plunges into gloomy sensations and remains fixated on his problem, then his psyche is poisoned and he cannot get out of the circle of this problem on his own.
He falls into a vicious circle, where hope is replaced by another disappointment and again reviving hope.
A person cannot accept the existing state of affairs, cannot accept the existing qualities of a person, he continues to hope for a miracle and change. He seems to be unable to open his eyes and look reality and facts in the eye. Everyone has a choice - to change their life or continue to be in the tangle of their suffering.
A state of internal crisis, acute suffering can destroy a person and his life, or it can be an impetus for positive changes in his life. Only a person makes a choice in favor of one or the other. There is a force in human capabilities that can transform his depression and “crushed” into a state of his determination to change the existing situation.
There is a force in each of us, which is called the instinct for life, and if you rely on this resource, then a person will live as he wants. Even Freud spoke about two main human instincts - the life instinct and the death instinct.
He also argued that the amount of energy in a person is a constant value and, according to the law of conservation of energy, it can move from one state to another, but the amount does not change. It all depends on the distribution of energy within us.
If we direct our energy and thoughts to satisfy the death instinct, then we will destroy ourselves and our lives, we will constantly be in suffering and problems.
If we direct our energy to other processes - to change our life, to carry out everyday definite and consistent steps leading to positive changes, then we will feed the instinct for life and we will build our life in a different way.
When a person reaches the peak of his pain and suffering, he can break down and stop fighting, or, on the contrary, open a source of incredible strength and determination in himself and use this strength for positive changes.
In one second, he can make a decision for himself inside to get out of suffering and once and for all do away with what makes his life joyless and dead.
The first step on the path to healing is to accept the status quo
It is only through suffering and acceptance of the situation that the healing of the soul occurs. Yes, we do not have the power to change the situation, we do not have the power to change a person, we do not have the power to subordinate life and circumstances to our desires, but we have the power to change our attitude to a situation, a problem, to the source of our suffering.
You can change your attitude by accepting the situation and the fact that it is impossible to change it.
In this case, there are two choices, either to adjust yourself, or to leave everything and go your own way.
Neither the first nor the second option has an advantage, it all depends on the values and beliefs of each of us.
Whatever decision a person makes, he refuses to fight and accepts the existing state of affairs, he accepts not his suffering and not that he suffers, but accepts the presence of the source of his suffering and chooses to remain in suffering or get out of it. To change your attitude towards a situation or a person, you must first of all expand your understanding and see more than you see at the moment.
Only in this way it becomes possible to change your attitude towards the source that brings you suffering.
The second thing to do is stop blaming someone, stop blaming life for injustice towards you. You need to understand what lesson for yourself you can learn from existing suffering
If the situation is repeated in your life more than two times, then this means that you have not learned the lesson you need for yourself.
You have not solved your inner problem.
You have not stepped a step higher and have not changed. We are all sane people and each of us tries to think in a similar way, what I write is the truths known to you. And I know how many people try to cope with problems on their own, as a result of reflection and analysis, but at the same time there is danger number one that you will plunge into this situation, get bogged down in blaming yourself, danger number two - and you will lose the strength and energy you need for exit and solution.
Very often, in the course of such reflections, a person cannot reach the essence and depth of his problem, because defense mechanisms are activated that protect you from painful awareness and recognition of the truth about yourself.
In this case, I think it would be more reasonable to turn to specialists who will help you go through your sufferings and realize their true cause. In the course of constant and long-term psychotherapeutic work, there is a gradual living of painful feelings and their release from the repressed state in the unconscious.
Faced for the first time, in childhood, with suffering and painful experiences, the child's psyche is not able to cope and process painful experience, to understand and comprehend it.
The child's psyche has no other choice but to displace pain from consciousness.
But this does not mean that she is gone for good, she is like a thorn in the soul and becomes a hotbed of constant infection and inflammation, causing suffering and attracting people and situations that will contribute to the spread of infections, infecting more and more layers of the psyche. It is only through living, liberation and awareness that true healing occurs.
At the same time, a greater amount of energy is released, which was spent on keeping pain and painful experiences in the unconscious. The released energy will be directed towards achieving goals.
Understanding the internal mechanisms of the work of the psyche, will bring the opportunity through awareness to live differently.
For the first time a person has a choice in his life.
He can continue to act in the old way and know exactly what he will get as a result, or he can begin to act in a new and different way, not knowing exactly what he will receive, but clearly not what he is used to receiving. Very often a woman tries to change her behavior. within the framework of the existing relationship, but all her efforts are in vain, she again and again finds herself in the circle of her painful experiences, in the circle of self-accusations and in the search for reasons in herself, she tries to understand what she is doing wrong in these relationships. She sincerely tries to change her model of behavior, but there is no result.
She doesn't understand why? Sometimes this inner work is not just not constructive for herself, but on the contrary acts depressingly on her, she does “Sisyphean labor”, she cannot get out of the vicious circle more and more bogged down in it, losing faith in her strength and abilities …
The reason for this repetition does not always lie in her behavior here and now, the reason may lie in the fact that a woman initially begins to build her relationship with a person who corresponds to her inner drama, which corresponds to her destructive scenario. To get out of the vicious circle, you need to break off relations with the person who is the hero of your inner play, to refuse his participation in your inner drama.
By his behavior, he provokes you to repeat the dramatic plot and to repeat your suffering.
Having broken off the relationship, do not rush to plunge into new ones again, they will most likely be a repetition of the previous ones. It takes time for loneliness to realize and heal. It takes a lot of strength and determination to end a relationship that is hurting you.
Left alone, you need to focus on understanding the existing problem. Only by breaking away from the relationship and breaking this connection, remaining alone, you can come to an awareness of your problem and an understanding of your life scenario.
As soon as a woman can understand her inner drama and script. As soon as she understands what scene she is replaying in her life and realizes that the choice of a partner was a foregone conclusion, only then will she get out of the circle of her suffering. Choosing a hero for her play, another play cannot be staged, because the heroes play their already prepared roles, only this hero could play her inner drama. Being in the role of a participant in this performance, it is very difficult for a woman to understand and realize what her inner program is acting in her life. Therefore, you should definitely seek help from a specialist who will help you become an observer and help you see what is happening in your life.
Only through awareness of the destructive program, changes and healing occur. Sometimes a woman begins to understand a lot, to realize, but she does not have enough energy and strength to get out of it alone. She does not know on what internal resource she can rely on and get out of the vicious circle, so there is no need to try to cope with her problems herself.
Each of us has a resource that can be a source of strength.
Each person is born with an instinct for life, which helps you to reveal your purpose in this life and fulfill your mission, and the death instinct, which leads you to death within yourself and destruction. Each person makes his choice and he has it.
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