2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
HOW TO EXTINGUISH OUTBREAKS OF Anger, so as not to break out on your loved ones?
What to do with your anger and irritation during self-isolation? I will describe some measures of prevention, expression, and management of anger. For many people, during quarantine and living in self-isolation, he reached a boiling point of discontent with the government, irritation with loved ones, despair, resentment and helplessness to change the situation.
If it is so boiling and tired that anger has turned into rage, catch yourself at that moment when sparks are already pouring out of your eyes, and curses from your mouth have not yet fired a powerful volley at a live interlocutor or a talking head during a video call
Stop! Count to ten before venting your anger. Take 10 deep breaths in and out.
During this time, you will have time:
- Live the emotion itself and feel how its intensity decreases (up to 12 seconds). A person who understands what emotion he is experiencing now is better able to manage himself.
- Do not throw your fists at your opponent. People who admit to being angry are less prone to aggression and violence than those who deny.
- Find out the reason for wanting to make a scandal with a family member or colleague. During the Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine conditions, this is not always a "broken cup".
- Further. Deal with the cause of your dissatisfaction. If you can, give yourself what you need. Perhaps this is a desire to be alone or the need to build boundaries in communication with loved ones? Or maybe it's time to admit that you cannot fight windmills, feel sorry for yourself and cry? Or share your experiences with someone?
- If you are angry with something that you cannot change: unfulfilled plans, forced restrictions, helplessness, uncertainty, or as they say “everything pisses me off”, give free rein to the energy of anger and release it out in environmentally friendly ways. For example:
- Take flight. Literally. Running is one of the archaic forms of a person's response to stress: when the level of adrenaline and cortisol rises in the blood, we can do what our distant ancestors did to protect ourselves. In addition, the release of bodily tension is also accompanied by the production of endorphins, hormones of happiness.
- If you have the opportunity to run in the fresh air without violating the quarantine restrictions, use it to prevent and release mental and physical stress.
If there is no way to run
- dance to energetic music
- jump rope
- squat, push up
- wave your hands
- swing abs, swing your hips, swing your ass
Hit - the second of the 3 archaic forms of reaction to danger: hit, run, freeze. Not living people, of course!
- pound the pillow, punching bag
- intense blows into the air like in boxing, or even better with dumbbells in your hands
- knead the dough
- massage your partner
- pet and hug your pet
- vacuum, wash the floor
- wash windows, refrigerator, plumbing
- tear to shreds old newspapers, written notebooks, drafts
- scribble on paper with crayons and tear it
- paint your anger with paints on canvas
- play musical instruments
Some people channel their anger towards finding the culprit and spreading evidence of a worldwide conspiracy or denial of danger. Do not pick up these information viruses, keep in touch with reality and consciously sublimate anger.
Also, as a directed expression of anger, the following may be suitable:
- growl into the pillow and swear - also into the pillow
- read poetry - loudly and with expression, at the same time train your oratory skills
- sing - with guitar, piano, acapella or online karaoke
- talk about your feelings and experiences with loved ones - always in “I-statements”. I will write about this in the following post - like / save so that my posts appear in your news feed
The most effective way to release tension in a couple is sexual release! The more a woman screams in the bedroom, the less she screams in the kitchen.
Rejoice. The opposite emotion to anger is joy. What can bring you joy from the available tools at hand? According to research by scientists, the state of happiness by 40% depends on the ability of a person to make himself happy. 40% is in your hands and under your control. And believe me, this is a lot
The most important thing is to understand that anger is an important basic feeling and it is better to recognize and safely express it than to waste energy on denial, suppression, repression. Any trapped emotions and feelings are reflected in blocks in the body. We may not feel this until the accumulated amount results in a serious organic disease of the body or mental disorder.
Take care of yourself!
ELENA ERMOLENKO is a psychologist who is always there.
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