2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The beginning of this story in childhood, as well as many others. When conflicts in the family, or the negative mood of the parents, the child tied to himself and believed that the father or mother was dissatisfied with him.
Nobody explained to him that adults can experience different feelings and emotions and the reasons can be completely different, and not just good or bad behavior of the child.
Today I want to do without analysis, assessment, comments. This is done by the clients themselves during the conversation. Just cases from practice.
Psychological problem with psychosomatic consequences.
Request: skin rashes,: difficulties in relationships with people
Tell us what worries you
-Galina: I have a feeling that I am not appreciated and respected.
-How and in what way is it manifested?
-Galina: I am always wrong, always guilty of everything, not worthy of anything, and this gives rise to emptiness, hopelessness and the feeling that no one needs me. People do not appreciate me, they scold me on every occasion. These people are not afraid of losing me, which means that I am of no value to them, These people do not care what is with me or without me. And also a feeling of stiffness of some kind of compression in the spine.
-Is it manifested with some specific people or with everyone?
-Galina: these are girlfriends, men and mom
- In what cases does this sensation in the spine intensify?
-Galina: this sensation intensifies when they tell me to shut up, and therefore I want to pull my head into my shoulders.
There is a feeling that I am very small and invisible and I want to become invisible.
-When did this condition first appear?
-Galina: I think this state appeared at the age of 4, I had to always behave very quietly, so as not to bother anyone (especially my mother), since it was from me that she had difficulties in life.
- Did your mother tell you about this?
-Galina: yes
-And this quiet behavior, what was it for you? a manifestation of what kind of attitude towards mom?
-Galina: respect or even sympathy, it's hard for her and I wanted to make her life easier.
-I understand correctly: the absence of any emotions and this kind of stiffness in movements is equal to a manifestation of sympathy and facilitation of the life of a loved one?
- Galina: yes. in my head now such words "do not live a full life and then it will be easier for others."
-I understand correctly: we have a formula: showing empathy = suppressing your Emotions (desires) and initiative?
-Galina: yes, I also noticed one detail, when people need something from me, they come into my life, and so there is no need for me and they do not need my problems
-How do you feel most often in similar cases
-Galina- faster used, I interfere with everyone's life, I have only one problem and I have no right to burden someone with my problems, I do not deserve the care of respect and love. I am a source of pain, trouble, problems, I am superfluous and unnecessary. And the most interesting thing is, when they put pressure on me, I don't even have the thought that I can resist it or say no (as if I have no right to do this), and I have no right to defend myself, to defend myself either.
- What do you think are the consequences of the events from childhood now in today's life? Especially: this formula: showing empathy = suppressing your Emotions (desires) and initiative?
-Galina turns out that in this way I make life easier for loved ones. The less desires I have, the fewer problems I create, the easier and easier it is for others to live. I humiliated myself so much for this.
-What conclusions can be drawn after our conversation?
-Galina: it was because of these events from childhood that I did not allow myself a lot of things, did not defend myself. And this directly influenced my profession, since I am a creative person. I have talent, but I am not allowed to show it, I cannot afford to communicate with certain people in those places where I would like to be, I have desires and dreams, but I myself forbade it to have it.
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