2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
To beat or not to beat - that is the question? Modern parents - unlike Soviet ones - don't even have such a question. But. It seems that everyone knows that it is impossible - but many cannot resist. It is passed down from generation to generation - just like family traditions. Sometimes the parent did not even have time to think - and already the hand went up and down. Then shame, pangs of conscience. Dear parents, no one can deprive you of your "good" status for a couple of spanks. And here, too, there are rules - how to "soften the blow" and not harm the "fragile psyche of a child."
Go.
Actually, using your power and superiority is not good. But how can you restrain yourself if the child seems to be asking for it? We will not pretend here that the problem does not exist. But let's try to reduce the harm from assault. Even in such a case, it is good to outline some rules.
IF YOU ALREADY PLUNG - THEN BY THE RULES:
1. The only forcedly permissible form of assault in the case of children is slapping on the buttocks.
And this is really this golden rule and it does not tolerate exceptions.
2. If your patience has run out and you are already rushing, rolling up your sleeves for a spanking - in no case do not suddenly run into the child. Warn him that now there will be a thrashing: "Well, that's it, you've been interrogated!" and then spank. Then our children are warned - they are armed. And they can endure assault from a loving parent.
3. Spanking children on the buttocks is excusable only under a hot hand.
What does it mean?
This is a situation when a parent broke down because the child was too distracted and there was no other way to calm him down. This is the same situation when the child was "interrogated".
A slap, and especially the subsequent violent sobs, can really relieve both participants in a family quarrel of the accumulated tension and defuse the situation.
BUT! It is quite another matter when corporal punishment is carried out in cold blood and after a while after the "offense". When a child is beaten on purpose.
Dear moms and dads, if you hit a child defiantly, and not under a hot hand, if you had time to think - and you did not stop, you should know - you are not just hitting him, but humiliating him. This means that it is better for you to consult a psychologist, but this is a separate conversation.
WHAT TO DO AFTER?
If the ill-fated slap on the priest still announced the surroundings, it is foolish to immediately back down.
Falling into guilt and apologizing is not very adequate. But you can say, "I'm sorry I spanked you, but you know, I was very angry and I had no other option to stop you."
If your baby does not respond to screaming and threats, then there is a problem in the relationship. It means that one of the parents was too frightening or unbearably accusing. And the child closed in protective armor. Such cases require individual analysis.
But there is one universal advice: if some technique does not work, you need to change it.
Remember, maybe you have already said the phrase "I kick-beat, shout-shout - and nothing helps." Draw conclusions.
There are many ways to help the most neglected parent-child relationships. If you wish, let it take time - you can fix many mistakes.
Forget how you were raised, listen to yourself and your child - after all, you are individual. Find your own way of interaction, make friends and cooperate with your child, and then education from a nightmare will turn into a joy.
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