2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We love our children and wish them well. But what kind of things were not done with children under this motto.
In matters of upbringing, parents are often lost - they are afraid to be strict and be remembered by a monster.
That - they are afraid to spoil, so that the child will lose its shores. Therefore, I wrote an article for you "Three golden rules for raising a child."
Today I will publish Rule # 1.
"Parents who do not prohibit - do not protect"
Nowadays there are mountains of books on raising children - after rereading this mountain, parents try to try on numerous tips for themselves - but very often nothing comes of it. There are many methods and techniques of upbringing - some of them will seem fake to you, some too difficult. But there are several general trends - so to speak - the golden rules of parenting. And the upbringing of a child begins, sadly, with prohibitions.
Parenting experts - child psychotherapists - say, "Parents who don't forbid don't protect."
Because the child needs to be stopped, he needs to find out the boundaries of what is permissible.
Much is written about not hitting children, not punishing children, and very little is being written about at what age and what should be prohibited.
Some methods say not to prohibit anything up to 3 years, others - up to 5, and still others - up to 7 years without prohibitions. But the experience of observing children shows that it makes no sense to prohibit anything up to 1, 5 years old. And then the prohibitions should only concern vital things.
And so, rule number 1: up to one and a half years, everything that is not life-threatening is allowed. Give your child the opportunity to explore the world. The dangers that seriously threaten the health of the child are known to everyone - these are the road, sharp knives, balconies, sockets, fire and medicine. Everything.
It is important to know here that parents must also follow safety rules - therefore, mom and dad should not hang from the balcony with children or cross the road at a red light. Each prohibition must be pronounced 20 or even thirty times.
But first, the little adventurer will have to be monitored and insured. Everything will work out if you calmly explain and truthfully - clearly - show what will happen if the child disobeys. For example, if you have a balcony, show your child what will happen if a large ripe apple falls down. And when it scatters to pieces - explain that the same will happen to it yourself, if it hangs from the railing and falls. Let him touch a not very, but noticeably hot cup or kettle. And you can be sure - he will understand.
Young children have a game - they throw objects, and carefully watch the falling object. This is a very rewarding experience. The child must understand that something happens from his actions, something changes, and, in the case of glass objects, it does not change reversibly.
Remember that prohibitions should only apply to vital things. Therefore, if you have fragile things that are dear to you - hide these treasures from children - somewhere higher. The same applies to medicines, documents, and dangerous items. It's easier than keeping a curious researcher under control and jerking all the time.
After a year and a half, new requirements are imposed on the child. In general, their number grows in direct proportion to the number of candles on the birthday cake.
By the age of two, the cleanliness phase begins. The kid is gradually taught to wash his hands, use the pot, wipe his nose, and, of course, clean up the toys after him.
Not all children love it - they prefer to watch cartoons. At this time, the phase of the first educational conflicts begins. And this is completely natural.
The child begins to protest, and the parents begin to feel like they are not very good parents.
But after a year and a half, parents must be able to endure the fact that the child is not happy with them.
The parenting process has begun, and it can be sad for parents, because the history of parenting is a history of prohibitions.
Do not be afraid to become a bad or unloved parent - believe me, children know well at an unconscious level who invests what in them.
And you forbid - because you protect them.
Therefore, everything is fine.
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