2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Instead of an epigraph
Suddenly some old man
Spider
Our Fly to the corner
Pulling -
He wants to kill the poor
Destroy Tsokotukha!
/ Roots Chukovsky /
The topic of relationships with narcissists in the psychological practice of conversions is numerous, extremely common.
Victims of narcissists, despite years of abuse, manipulation and gaslighting, cannot forget their favorite tormentors for years.
The break with the insidious enslaver turns for the rejected partner into a school of self-flagellation, grief and suffering: the abandoned victims, without stint, count their own mistakes, accumulate unbearable, destructive guilt and suffer, torment, and torment …
Well, what else? After all, not someone, but "Tsar-Harold" personally showed the greatest mercy, allowed it to his person, lifted it, did good, and what is the answer to him? They didn't please, they didn't manage …
"It's all because of me!" - sobs the poor victim - “I am the only one to blame! Now, if only all over again "… And some (over time) with the mercy of the" Great Benefactor "opens up a new chance … And what do you think? Is it different this time? Of course not! What has changed here? The picture is the same! The narcissist remains a narcissist, the victim remains a victim, the scenario is repeated and often with the worst performance … Let's analyze the phenomenon …
The first secret. Cover and content
Absolutely all victims of a designated relationship rely on a particularly exquisite, magical, romantic flair of the first stage of relationships with narcissists.
The trick is that this giddy, passionate dance is mistaken for love. Behind the beautiful guise of an insidious seducer lies a completely different filling - a cold-blooded tyrant, tormentor and "bloodsucker": and the charm of his victim is soon invariably replaced by bitter cry … She (as if) was promised ONE, but a completely DIFFERENT thing was revealed …
The secret is that the crazy romance of the first stage of the relationship with daffodils is just a bait, a beautiful foil, a temptingly deceptive candy wrapper behind which a bitter pill is hidden, and not chocolate at all.
Narcissus, like a spider (from the above quatrain), through love temptation, places a web on the victim. And at the right moment - "clap" and "sealed" the unfortunate woman in a cleverly placed trap. "Everything! Gotcha! Now you won't go anywhere! " A narcissist's trap is a "big love" trap. The narcissist himself is a skillful hunter of a scarce love field. (Sad? Well, I'm sorry, as it is …)
The second secret. The secret of a love spell
But how does the narcissist succeed in such a successful hunt for captives (really, you won't go anywhere) … Let's go back to the analogy with the spider - there are many unexpectedly consonant clues …
Let's remember biology: what happens when the unfortunate captive is caught? The spider injects a special poison into the victim, thereby dissolving its physical boundaries, and then - the rest of the captive's content.
The same thing happens in the narcissist-victim relationship. The dizzyingly loving "potion" totally "dissolves" the boundaries and the "spider" freely penetrates into the spiritual space of beautiful captives, "clinging" to the unfortunate - everything: now and forever the captured captive is his energy "feeding trough", a dependent appendage, no longer a human … (It’s even sadder, isn’t it? You cannot be offended at the truth! It is not to blame for the meanings we are revealing!)
So, the secret of the "love spell" of the narcissist-tempter is in the dissolution of mental boundaries and the subsequent (prudent and sober) introduction of the unfortunate woman into the energy field. Here, the daffodil can be compared to another dubious (from a humane point of view) insect: the daffodil is an energy drone - a gentleman who feeds on someone else's energy expense … That's how it works!
The third secret. Narcissus tools. Idealization and depreciation
Let's move on to the narcissist-victim interaction algorithm. How does a narcissist manipulate his victim? What is the basis of the illusion of sacrifice of his unfortunate partner?
An interesting phenomenon! The phenomenon of almost any power! Simple and effective at the same time! Carrot and stick mechanism. Consider: how does it work in narcissists?
So, from the previous "secrets" we found out:
- daffodil - love hunter, - truly does not know how to love, - organizing relations with the victim, pursues his own selfish goals: to enslave and use - exclusively for the benefit of himself; and then it can throw it away (as it goes) …
But how, in this case, to preserve the illusion of love in the eyes of his victim, how to globally deceive the unfortunate worker in order to continue to sit on the throne and consume, and so that the victim does not notice anything?
This is where two tools come to his aid: idealization (which the victim naively mistook for love) and devaluation (throwing the victim into the abyss of icy neglect).
And it works like this: "you are doing your service well" - "I will lift you up to heaven"; guilty - I will devalue, incinerate.
It is on such a swing that the unfortunate victims swing … "Loves" - "does not love", "will press to the heart" - "send to hell" … Idealization - depreciation, like a perpetual motion machine of a love algorithm - other interactions are unknown to the tyrant …
In fairness, in order to justify the unfortunate narcissists (and the narcissists are people suffering in their own way, unhappy), I will separately note the following: they are captive tormentors, so they were raised by fate.
Being with a narcissist is the greatest karma! Being a narcissist is a huge cross
The second part of the given algorithm is a separate, completely different story … Somehow I will reveal this psychological phenomenon … To be continued …
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