2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Once a little fox was running through the forest and, finding himself in an unfamiliar place, fell into a ravine. He was at the very bottom. And the worst thing is, he got into a bunch of shit. The pile smelled foul. It was sticky and nasty. I wanted to get out of it as soon as possible and bathe in the water. But the fox hesitated. On one side of the ravine there was a steep slope, and on the other - the entrance to a dark hole. And the fox was afraid.
After all, if you climb the slope, you can break. Fail. To be a failure. To make a bunch of attempts and all to no avail. And this is insulting. Climbing into a dark hole is scary. What if there is a terrible animal that wants to eat for them? No, I'd rather sit in shit. Let it smell unpleasant, let it turn it inside out, but it’s safe.
So he sat in the shit until his family found him and pulled him out of the ravine. In life, fortunately or unfortunately, you cannot count on someone coming and saving you. Therefore, it is extremely important to understand how to overcome yourself and your insecurity, so as not to end your life sitting in complete crap.
Overt and hidden fears
Human self-doubt is a manifestation of our fears. Explicit, when a person understands what he is afraid of. And hidden, when you carefully hide and mix your fear of someone or something. Because you are ashamed of him. Or you want to seem different from who you are. Getting rid of hidden fears is the hardest part. Because if you unconsciously deny their existence, then finding them yourself is almost impossible. Only an honest, objective look from the outside will solve the problem.
For example, a person does not do something, because he is simply afraid to act. Moreover, he is afraid due to the fact that a ban was imposed on active activity in childhood and it is unconsciously scary to violate it. Because mommy will be upset and scolded. The person is not aware of this fear, but is unconsciously controlled by it. The person says to himself that “yes, I’m not afraid, but I don’t do it because and because (then there are a million reasons sucked out of the finger)”. That is, a person is lying to himself and does not notice it himself.
Since any fear is generated by the unknown, that is, ignorance, the easiest way to get rid of it is to clarify. Therefore, it is said that in order to get rid of fear, one must meet it halfway, that is, make the unknown known. If you are afraid to call, be sure to call. Afraid to say - be sure to say. And then everything falls into place. But at the same time, you must be ready to accept the consequences as they are.
How to get out of the "comfort zone" correctly
One of the main reasons that a person is "stuck" in life (in his development, in moving towards a goal) is his inability to get out of the notorious "comfort zone". Hundreds of books and thousands of articles have been written on this subject, but if you "dry" all the "water" from them and reduce the rest to a single denominator, then the essence of all recommendations is "act no matter what."
The problem of getting out of the "comfort zone" is purely psychological and consists in the fact that a person does not want to risk the current, albeit not very pleasant, but stable and habitual situation for the sake of something unknown. Moreover, without any guarantees of success. To endure hardships, hardships, pain, work hard to get the result easily only in films and books. Time flies by there. In ordinary life, a person quickly "breaks down" and decides "yes, him, and so everything, in principle, is not bad."
In order to properly leave the "comfort zone" you need two things:
* a strong and sincere desire to get some result … In other words, it is the power of Intention. If the intention is weak, then there will be no motivation for change. There will be only dreams and erotic fantasies on the theme "I'll be lucky one day …"
* the habit of methodically and regularly committing some "body movements" even in the absence of motivation and any "return" from these "body movements" (this is what is called self-discipline)
In this situation, the person begins to move towards the desired result. Not as fast as we would like. With mistakes, shoals, fucking, failures, defeats, but moves. And if there is enough intelligence and honesty to adequately assess himself and reality, then he will get what he wants faster. Much faster. And with far fewer mistakes.
But, in addition to external circumstances, there are also, let's say, "internal difficulties." This is what a person carries with him from childhood. This is what he cooks in and what he doesn't notice. This is a "mental firmware" without changing which all efforts will be in vain. Since everything will return to normal.
Perception determines reactions
What seems to us to be problems and what gives rise to the corresponding reactions (fear, resentment, discontent, irritation, aggression, etc.) is exclusively a product of our mind and is generated only by our perception of reality. That is, our reactions are determined by our perception. We change perception and then our reactions change (which are 95-97% unconscious).
Losers differ from lucky ones, first of all, by too narrow focus of attention. Losers are fixated on stability and security, so they automatically (i.e. unconsciously) filter out any information that carries with it something risky and unstable. That is, they waste opportunities, since the latter, as a rule, are always associated with some kind of risk and instability / strangeness.
There are certain unconscious patterns of behavior and thinking (attitudes) that are responsible for our relationship with reality. It's like a "computer program" in your head. The success of actions, relationships with the world and others are directly related to what attitudes dominate in our heads. If this attitude is like "if only there was no war," then you will never leave the "comfort zone" because you will unconsciously avoid any risks and conflicts that are inevitable when creating a new one. Programming is stronger than volitional effort.
Update the current version of yourself
Thus, in order to overcome oneself and self-doubt, it is necessary to "reflash" one's unconscious, to update the current version of oneself. You are kept in your “comfort zone” by what you consider to be “true”, “correct”, “normal”, “acceptable”, “good”, etc. These are your limiters, which do not allow you to fully reveal your own potential and realize yourself in life.
But the biggest limiter is your fear. Fear of being wrong, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of conflict, and so on. You are afraid to act, you are afraid to take risks (and to risk wisely, reasonably), because somewhere on the outskirts of your unconscious, your true "I" is tightened by sticky fear with steel chains. Fear that you cannot see because you deceived yourself about its existence.
The problem for ordinary people is that they think that by removing one or two mental layers with the help of the so-called. "Symptomatic therapy", they will find the long-awaited peace of mind and can begin to act without fear. In fact, they just drive their fears even deeper. If you want to overcome your deepest fears, gain confidence and lead your life to a new trajectory of movement, then sign up for a free consultation to find out what processes you need to start and what algorithm to act on.
See you!
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