2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Psychotherapists joke (or not joke …) that no matter how good the mother is, the client will still have something to talk about during the consultation. And this, in fact, is true, because in the process of work, some childish grievances, different requirements and long-forgotten stories always surface. So today - about ideal parents
Being the perfect parent is incredibly difficult. Because you need to get up before dark in order to have time to cook breakfast, collect bags and iron things for school / kindergarten. Because you need to manage to squeeze in swimming, chess, English courses, dancing and boxing in one week, because all-round development is the key to a successful life. Because to read encyclopedias before going to bed instead of unnecessary fairy tales and lullabies, because intellect is the road to light and successful.
Ideal parents always want the right kids. And being the perfect child is harder than being the perfect parent. This means winning competitions and olympiads, not because you love these subjects or challenge yourself, but because dad will be happy. To be correct is to play symphonies at 14 and read Orwell in the original, not to smoke in the neighboring garage and leaf through the Maxim magazine. This means a large list of what the child should, and not what he would really like.
But the real truth is that in fact, all of the above is not necessary for a happy childhood. No mom wakes up at five in the morning, no cinema / theater / museum visits every weekend. Not even a new tablet / phone. For a happy childhood, ideal parents are not needed; it is enough that they are good enough.
The kind who can be stuck to pick up the child on time from school, because they arranged for themselves three hours of "weekend" and are slightly lost in time. Who will not suit the ripped years due to a hole in new jeans or trainers full of rainwater of a wonderful earthy hue. The kind who, at your age of 18, carefully put condoms in your pocket, and do not sprinkle ashes on your head every time you return after nine. Those who will rejoice at your victories, but will not hysterically wring their hands because of failures.
Because when he grows up, he will not remember all your efforts and the realization that for his sake you ruined your personal life or career will not add happiness and confidence to him, but feelings of guilt and mild neurosis are a must. But what he will remember is how you paddled together in the puddles in the spring rain. And the way they consoled him when he flew head over heels off the hill will be warmer than the cries of "I told you so !!", abundantly seasoned with additional cuffs.
A child does not have to sacrificially give all the best, including his own happy life. It is enough for him that his mother is there in difficult times and does not add unnecessary stress. It is much more important for him to feel her own imperfection than to chase his own perfection all his life.
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