2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Observational part
The problem of depreciation in practical psychotherapy is one of the most difficult and poorly solved problems. To make it immediately clear, I will clarify - we are talking about the most common dissatisfaction with oneself and the habit of sincerely (with a claim to be realistic) and negatively assessing oneself. For example, if it seems to you that you were able to do little today, tried little today, or you have a real big pile of psychological difficulties today, this is about devaluation.
I draw your attention to the fact that depreciation itself is much weaker than fears, phobias, obsessions, psychosomatics, apathy or doubts. But! Devaluation (of yourself, your personality) acts like a magnifying glass and exacerbates any of your symptoms … That is, when you get up in the morning, you start to worry about your well-being and devalue yourself in some way (for example, with a banal phrase: "Well, here I have anxiety again, I still haven't removed it") - your anxiety increases automatically and guaranteed.
It is also worth clarifying that absolutely low self-esteem resides next to depreciation and (in some places) the boundary between the two is difficult to trace. Therefore, it makes sense to associate low self-esteem with a vision of one's own shortcomings, comparing oneself with others, and associating depreciation with an assessment of oneself in current events, one's efforts, results and an emphasized (or generalized) description of one's functional state (mood, resources, skills, capabilities) …
The practical part
When you realize that you are devaluing yourself on a regular basis, it is important for you to create a list of all possible depreciation options (in your performance), separately compiling a list of TOP options (which you use more often). For example.
A) concentration on what has not been done … Well, you did this, and there is still a lot to be done …
B) concentration on what is not done completely, not so, not perfect … This is not enough, this is bad, it is too slow …
C) focusing on how it could have been done … it was necessary to try harder
D) emphasizing my problems (and / or generalizing) … I always do not really succeed in anything … Recently, I have one continuous anxiety …
Emphasize a positive attitude towards yourself
Imagine that I called you perfection, ideal and star. And then imagine that while communicating with you I repeated the same thing again at different moments of the dialogue 20. You may either like it or you will find in these labels something redundant and unnatural (or you might even think that what was said is a lie) … In any case, to get rid of self-depreciation, it is important to regularly broadcast to yourself an exaggerated idea of self-worth.
Devalue your problems
The next key action is to discount all problems as best you can. The key introduction here is “it's just …”.
This is just a thought, anxiety, a delay in time, the opinion of another person, a couple of calls, an organizational moment, a coincidence, and so on …
The point of this technique is to use the principle of psychological aikido. There is no need to climb with your fists on the enemy. You can take his kinetic energy and use it to throw. In our case, you can use devaluation, but not against yourself, but against your psychological difficulties.
Emphasize your results without judgment
Devaluation comes out when there is any assessment of current or future (possible) results. Devaluation often occurs at the start of a business, at the first difficulties, during an interim analysis of what is happening, after the job is done. Devaluation takes the focus away from what has actually been (actually) done. Therefore, your task is to actively focus your attention on what you did, are doing, or are going to do.
I did too little … In doing so, I did this and that.
Lately, I have one continuous anxiety. In doing so, I began to apply the skills of living emotions and assess the intensity of anxiety every day.
Switching to what I can
Devaluation often leads to the fact that your attention goes into the plane of emotions, thoughts, winding up and tormenting yourself. Switching to what specifically you can do right now is roughly equal to effective self-assessment. And therefore, it returns you to a strong, constructive position in life.
Lately, I have one continuous anxiety. And I can also try meditation, relaxation, auto-training, magic pills, going to a psychologist, a massage therapist, a new diet….
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